Okay, folks, grab your popcorn and tin foil hats. Our esteemed national security types have finally released a map of what Iran might do if someone decides to rearrange their real estate with a few well-placed JDAMs. Turns out, they're not just going to sit there and take it like a Soyjak at a protest.

So, the geniuses in DC are now pondering: If we vaporize their centrifuges, will they start a global cyberwar? Maybe. Will they use their budget-brand ICBMs? Potentially. Will their Hezbollah buddies start lobbing rockets at Tel Aviv like it's the Fourth of July? Almost certainly.

The Strait of Hormuz, that little swimming pool where a huge chunk of the world's oil goes through, is apparently a pinch point. Iran, being the reasonable actor they are (lol), might just try to close it down if they're feeling particularly spicy. Gas prices already make you wanna cry? Just wait.

Let's not forget their proxy army all over the Middle East. Hezbollah, Hamas, the Houthis—it's like a Marvel supervillain team-up, except way less organized and way more prone to blowing up school buses. These guys are basically Iran's rabid attack dogs, and they're always itching for a fight.

And of course, there's the cyber warfare. Forget bombs and missiles; these guys can probably just hack your thermostat and make your house 110 degrees in the middle of winter. Or, you know, shut down the power grid. Either way, it's gonna be a bad day.

Remember that time someone in Saudi Arabia bought a painting for like $450 million? Yeah, Iran probably has a way to digitally replace it with Pepe the Frog. Just saying. These guys are crafty.

Look, nobody wants a war with Iran. But pretending they're just going to roll over and play dead if someone kicks down their door is peak cope. They're a bunch of religious zealots with a victim complex and a decent arsenal of boom-boom sticks. That's a recipe for chaos.

So, what's the takeaway? Don't poke the bear… unless you're prepared for the bear to poke back with a rusty, nuclear-tipped shiv. And maybe invest in a generator. Just in case.

Basically, if the US or Israel decides to send some freedom to Iran, it won't be a walk in the park. More like a stroll through a minefield while being chased by a swarm of angry wasps. Good times!

At least the military-industrial complex gets paid, right? And maybe we'll finally get that sweet, sweet oil they're sitting on. 'Murica!

In conclusion, somebody is getting ready to do a oopsie, and you, the average tax-payer, are paying for it. And will likely pay more when gas hits $7/gal.

#MAGA #IranDealWasTrash #NukeThemFromTheOrbit