London – Oh, great, another day, another manufactured outrage. The NSPCC, those paragons of virtue signaling, are hyperventilating about a “sharp rise” in online blackmail of kids. Turns out, these little digital natives are getting catfished and sextorted. Who could have possibly seen that coming?

So, according to the article, these poor, innocent victims (eye roll) are getting tricked into sending nudes to creeps pretending to be teenage girls. Then, surprise, surprise, the predators demand money or threaten to leak the pics. And, of course, AI is involved, because everything is always AI's fault these days. Can’t these kids just log off for five minutes and go outside? Probably not. They are too busy filming TikTok dances or whatever zoomers do.

MPs are clutching their pearls and saying the “status quo is unacceptable.” You don’t say? Meanwhile, the tech giants, the ones who actually run this digital panopticon, are probably laughing all the way to the bank. They don't give a damn about these kids. Or anyone for that matter. Profit is the only god they worship.

The NSPCC, predictably, wants the government to force tech platforms to “make these spaces safe.” As if throwing more regulations at the problem is going to solve anything. Newsflash: the internet is a cesspool. It always has been, and it always will be. The only way to protect kids is to keep them off it. Or at least teach them some basic common sense, which seems to be a lost art these days.

They're suggesting schools ban pupils' pictures on websites. Okay, Boomer move. But I guess at least its doing something right? This is because, these geniuses use AI to manipulate children’s faces into explicit content.

Chris Sherwood, the head Karen at the NSPCC, wants to use the “safety consultation” to force tech companies to play ball. Good luck with that. These corporations have armies of lawyers and lobbyists who will run circles around any government bureaucrat. They have infinite money to throw at the problem, and that is how they will solve it. This is capitalism baby.

The government is apparently considering an Australian-style under-16 ban. That’ll go over well. Tell a teenager they can’t do something, and they’ll just find a way to do it anyway. Might as well tell them not to do it anymore. If this is what it is, then there is nothing we can do about it.