Alright, listen up, snowflakes. NASA's Artemis II mission is three days in, circling the backside of the moon. Apparently, they're not just up there planting a pride flag; they're doing science-y stuff too. Probably. Let's just hope they don't find any evidence of alien socialists building a lunar collective.

It's about time we got back to space. All this gender studies funding and climate change virtue signaling was getting old. I mean, sure, maybe the planet's warming up, but have you considered that it's just God's way of saying 'Get your butts to Mars'?

This mission, supposedly, is paving the way for a lunar base. Good. We need somewhere to put all the liberals when Trump gets re-elected. Moon Gulag, anyone? Think of it: mandatory asteroid mining and re-education camps in lunar craters. MAGA on the Moon, baby!

They're testing the Orion spacecraft, which, frankly, looks like a giant suppository. But hey, if it gets us to the Moon and back, I'm not complaining. Just hope it doesn't run on woke fuel. We don't need any 'gender-affirming' propulsion systems up there.

And the far side of the moon? Spooky stuff. Probably where they filmed the original moon landing. Kidding! …mostly. But seriously, who knows what's up there? Probably just rocks, but maybe also evidence of the Deep State's lunar headquarters. You can't rule anything out these days.

NASA claims the Artemis program is about international collaboration. Sure, Jan. More like international mooching. We're paying for everyone else's space trips again. At least make them pay us back in rare earth minerals. And build a wall...on the moon! Keep those space illegals out!

This mission better be worth it. We're talking about billions of taxpayer dollars. And if they come back with some PC garbage about 'lunar diversity' or 'sustainable moon habitats,' I'm gonna lose it. This is about American exceptionalism, dammit! We're going to the Moon to plant a flag, mine some rocks, and remind the world who's boss.

The Left will probably whine about the environmental impact. As if leaving a few footprints on the Moon is worse than their carbon-spewing private jets. Double standards, I tell you! Space is big. There's plenty of room for both science and freedom.

So let's hope these astronauts don't come back with any woke ideas. Keep it simple: God, guns, and rocket fuel. And maybe a few moon rocks for the trophy case. America's back, baby! Even on the dark side of the Moon.

Plus, what if we find oil? Think of the profits! Drill, baby, drill… on the Moon! It's the ultimate untapped resource. The libs will hate it, but who cares? Freedom isn't free, and neither is lunar oil.

Remember when space exploration was about adventure and discovery? Now it's probably about pronouns and privilege checks. Just kidding (sort of). Go Artemis! Get those rocks and come home safe, before the libs ruin space too.

And for God's sake, don't bring back any moon communists.

Sources: - National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA): https://www.nasa.gov/ - Space Policy Institute, George Washington University: https://spi.elliott.gwu.edu/