Alright, listen up, buttercups. Two teens kick the bucket from meningitis in Kent, and suddenly the UK is having a collective 'Oh, right, vaccines are a thing' moment. It's like everyone forgot about basic hygiene and preventative medicine after spending two years mainlining hand sanitizer and virtue-signaling about the sniffles.

So, yeah, the normies are finally stampeding to get their kids jabbed against the brain-eating disease. Apparently, 72% of year-nine kids were walking around unvaccinated before. That's… not great, Bob. But hey, at least some good came out of it, right? Darwinism averted, for now.

The Royal College of GPs (R-slur College of GPs) and the National Pharmacy Association (the what now?) are all patting themselves on the back because demand for vaccines went up. Olivier Picard (sounds French, probably doesn't shower) from the NPA is crowing about how parents are finally looking at their kids' vax records. Gee, maybe if the government didn't spend all its time pushing gender ideology and climate change nonsense, people would actually pay attention to basic health.

Professor Victoria Tzortziou Brown (bless you) from the RCGP is 'reassured' that families are getting their kids vaccinated. Good for her. Maybe she should reassure the rest of us that the NHS isn't going to collapse under the weight of its own incompetence. But I digress.

Hertfordshire Community NHS trust (try saying that five times fast) is bragging about giving out a measly 1,750 vaccines over two days. Slow clap. And NHS Greater Manchester (because everything needs to be 'Greater' these days) is hyperventilating because parental consent went up 40%. Congrats, you managed to do the bare minimum. Here's your participation trophy.

Berkshire Healthcare NHS foundation trust (seriously, who comes up with these names?) answered 780 phone calls. That's 780 people who couldn't figure out how to Google 'meningitis vaccine' and book an appointment online. The future is now, old man.

Look, I'm not against vaccines. I'm just against the sheer idiocy of waiting for people to die before doing something about it. This whole situation is a perfect microcosm of everything wrong with modern society: reactive instead of proactive, virtue-signaling instead of problem-solving, and utterly devoid of common sense.

So, go get your kids vaccinated. It's not gonna cure the woke mind virus, but at least they won't die of meningitis. Small victories, people, small victories.