Alright, folks, strap in. It's that time of year again: May Day, the annual holiday for tankies and unemployed baristas. This year, they're calling it 'May Day Strong,' which sounds like a new flavor of soy milk. The plan? 'No school, no work, no shopping.' Translation: a bunch of virtue-signaling zoomers and professional grievance-mongers are going to try and shut down the economy because, you know, capitalism is, like, totally unfair.

Apparently, there are going to be 3,500 of these virtue-signaling gatherings nationwide. Expect a lot of ironic chanting, poorly-made signs, and virtue signaling on Instagram. The usual.

Their demands? No ICE (because borders are just, like, totally arbitrary, man), no war (because peace is always the answer, except when it comes to fighting fascism, obviously), and taxing the rich (because those evil job creators deserve to be punished for their success). The coalition includes the usual suspects: labor unions (who haven't been relevant since the 1950s), immigrant rights groups (who apparently think open borders are a great idea), and the Democratic Socialists of America (because Venezuela is a shining example of economic prosperity).

Remember that time Minnesota tried this stunt? Yeah, didn't exactly bring down the system, did it? More like annoyed a bunch of commuters and made it harder to get a decent cup of coffee.

Neidi Dominguez, some executive director of some activist group, is super excited about how big this thing is going to be. Probably because it's a great opportunity to fundraise off the rubes.

Leah Greenberg from Indivisible (aka, the Resistance HQ for limousine liberals) is calling this an 'economic blackout' a 'structure test.' Translation: let's see how many people we can guilt into skipping work and school so we can feel good about ourselves.

Of course, the teachers' unions are in on it. Because nothing says 'prioritizing education' like giving teachers the day off to protest. Fifteen school districts in North Carolina are letting teachers skip class to attend a 'Kids Over Corporations' rally. Great message for the kids, teaching them to hate success instead of working hard.

Stacy Davis Gates, some teachers' union president, is whining about the 'affordability crisis' and the 'marginalization of our institutions.' Maybe if she spent less time organizing protests and more time teaching kids to read, things would be different.