Manchester, UK - Hold onto your hats, folks, because Manchester University is about to go full-blown socialist, mandating work placements for every single undergraduate. Yes, you heard that right. From Chemical Engineering (which, admittedly, might actually be useful) to Classics (because knowing Latin is super marketable in 2026), every student is getting a participation trophy in the form of a mandatory internship.

Vice-Chancellor Duncan Ivison, bless his heart, thinks that three years of gasp academic study is just too much. Apparently, reading books and learning things is no longer sufficient. Now, everyone needs a “meaningful real-world experience.” Meaning what, exactly? Unpaid labor at a failing non-profit? Serving coffee to virtue-signaling hipsters?

Nick Hillman from the Higher Education Policy Institute is, surprisingly, on board, calling it a “brilliant initiative.” He also raises concerns about feasibility because, ya know, they have 32,000 students. It’s almost like someone didn’t think this through. He also points out that most students are already slaving away at soul-crushing jobs to pay for their ridiculously overpriced education. So, now they get to slave away for free, too. Progress!

But hey, at least it’ll teach them what they don’t like, right? Like, say, being exploited by companies looking for cheap labor. Or maybe they’ll discover a burning passion for filing paperwork and making coffee runs. Who knows? The possibilities are endless!

Vivienne Stern from Universities UK is also thrilled, because apparently, the “jobs market is changing rapidly.” Translation: robots are taking over, and we need to train people for jobs that don’t exist yet. Good plan!

Libby Hackett from the Russell Group thinks it’s a “significant step.” A significant step toward what, exactly? Higher student debt? More pointless bureaucracy? A generation of graduates who are even more disillusioned with the system? Stay tuned!

Look, I get it. Graduates are struggling to find jobs. But the answer isn’t to force them into meaningless internships. The answer is to stop pushing everyone into university in the first place. Maybe, just maybe, we should encourage people to learn a trade, start a business, or, you know, do something useful instead of racking up £50,000 in debt to get a degree in Medieval Literature.