Alright, folks, gather 'round for the latest installment of 'Mali Mayhem,' starring al-Qaeda's JV squad, JNIM, and their ongoing demolition derby. This time, they're torching fuel tankers and trucks outside Bamako like it's a Mad Max reboot. Turns out, blockading a country already struggling harder than your average participation trophy recipient is kinda effective.

So, what's the deal? JNIM, these charming chaps affiliated with al-Qaeda, decided last year to slap a fuel blockade on Bamako. You know, just to spice things up. Now, they've upped the ante by setting fire to dozens of vehicles. Fuel tankers, minibuses, the whole shebang. No casualties, thankfully, because apparently, even jihadists have a sense of decency...sort of. They let everyone out before turning them into crispy critters.

Mali, bless its landlocked heart, relies on fuel from its neighbors. This makes them about as strategically secure as a tofu factory next to a hungry bear. JNIM knows this, of course. That's why they've been turning highways into vehicle graveyards since last year, racking up over 100 burnt-out fuel trucks. Talk about a carbon footprint.

The junta, led by Gen. Assimi Goïta, is supposed to be in charge. He seized power promising to restore order, but so far, it's been more like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. He even appointed a special general to counter the blockade. Spoiler alert: the blockade is still happening.

Experts are saying the blockade is designed to suffocate Mali's economy and weaken the junta's legitimacy. You don't say! It's almost like setting things on fire has consequences. The junta, which enjoyed initial popularity after its coup, is now struggling to contain the insurgency, even with the help of Russian mercenaries. Which, if you ask me, sounds like a recipe for a Scooby-Doo villain origin story.

Remember that time ethnic Tuareg separatists and JNIM launched coordinated attacks across the country? Good times. The Defense Minister even bit the dust in a suicide truck bombing. Things are getting spicy in the Sahel, folks.

Meanwhile, the BBC verified some videos of the burning vehicles using satellite imagery and AI manipulation checks. Because in 2024, even confirming basic facts requires fighting Skynet. NASA's heat-detecting satellites also chimed in, because why not? Everyone's got an opinion on Mali these days. So, what's next? More burning? More blockading? More junta head-scratching? Stay tuned, because in Mali, the only thing predictable is the unpredictability. Grab your popcorn and your Hazmat suit, folks, this ride ain't over. Buckle up, Buttercup!

Next up: Find out if anyone is making s'mores over the burning wrecks, or is that considered insensitive?