So, Mali's basically turning into a real-life Mad Max movie. Word on the street is that JNIM, those lovable al-Qaeda affiliates, and the Tuareg separatists, who are basically the Fremen if they traded spice for AK-47s, are teaming up to give the Malian government a wedgie. Checkpoints popping up near the capital? Northern town seized? Sounds like someone forgot to pay the protection money to the right warlords.

Remember when everyone thought the French were gonna save the day? Yeah, about that... Turns out, sticking your nose in other people's business doesn't always end with croissants and champagne. Now they're gone, and Mali's about as stable as a soyboy at a steak-eating contest.

And what about the Malian military? Well, they're probably busy tweeting about how diverse and inclusive their army is while the jihadis are busy capturing their outposts. Maybe if they spent less time virtue signaling and more time, you know, actually fighting, they wouldn't be in this mess.

Let's be real, the real problem is that nobody in the West cares about Mali. It's not trending on Twitter, there's no celebrity outrage, so it's just another Tuesday in the Sahel. Meanwhile, actual bad guys are running around doing bad guy things, and the so-called adults in the room are busy arguing about pronouns.

JNIM wants to bring Sharia law. Great, just what Mali needs: more medieval barbarism. And the Tuaregs? They want their own little ethnostate. Because Balkanization always works out so well, right?

The whole thing is a dumpster fire wrapped in a goat. And the worst part is, it's entirely predictable. When you have weak governments, porous borders, and a bunch of dudes with guns and nothing to lose, things tend to go sideways. Shocking, I know.

So, what's the solution? I don't know, maybe drop a few pallets of Ben Shapiro books and see if that calms everyone down. Or, you know, just let them sort it out. Either way, don't expect any help from the woke West. They're too busy fighting over statues and microaggressions to care about a real war in Africa.

Just remember, while you're sipping your latte and virtue signaling on Instagram, there are people out there fighting for their lives. And they probably don't give a damn about your pronouns. Just sayin'.

It's always the same story: chaos, violence, and virtue signaling from afar. Rinse and repeat. Buckle up, buttercups, because this is just the beginning. Mali's collapse is a symptom of a much larger problem, and nobody seems to have a clue how to fix it.