Okay, folks, this is HUGE. Remember E Jean Carroll, the broad who claimed Trump sexually assaulted her in a Bergdorf Goodman dressing room back in the day? Yeah, well, it turns out the DOJ is sniffing around her like a bloodhound after a juicy steak. Why? Perjury, baby! Apparently, she might've been playing fast and loose with the truth about where she got the cash for her lawsuits against The Donald.

According to the lamestream media (NYT and CNN, so take it with a grain of salt the size of your head), Carroll initially said she didn't take outside money for her legal battles. But then, oopsie! Turns out some leftist billionaire, Reid Hoffman (the LinkedIn dude), was quietly bankrolling her through a non-profit. Surprise, surprise. Trump's lawyers, naturally, are having a field day with this. They're saying she deliberately hid the funding to make herself look more credible. Which, let's be honest, is kinda shady.

Now, Carroll's lawyers are claiming she never actually talked to anyone from the non-profit. Uh-huh. Sure. Sounds legit. But the judge let Trump's lawyer, Alina Habba (who's a total badass, by the way), grill her again under oath. Bet that was fun to watch. This whole thing smells fishier than a seafood market in July. Remember the good old days when perjury actually mattered? It's almost quaint.

Of course, a federal appeals court already dismissed the idea that Carroll perjured herself. But the DOJ doesn't seem to care. They're digging in. Maybe they're finally realizing that this whole thing was a giant setup from the get-go. Trump denied the allegations, calling Carroll a liar and saying she's "not his type." Which, harsh but fair. She filed a civil lawsuit and somehow managed to win a $5 million settlement. Then she doubled down and got another $83 million in a separate defamation case. Talk about hitting the jackpot! Trump's appealing, of course, because he's not about to let her get away with this.

Todd Blanche, the acting Attorney General, recused himself from the investigation because he used to represent Trump in Carroll's civil case. Good. At least somebody in Washington has a shred of ethics left. But here's the real kicker: this investigation is just the latest example of the Trump administration going after its political enemies. Remember Comey? Letitia James? Adam Schiff? Ilhan Omar? They've all been targeted. And so far, none of these investigations have led to convictions. Shocker.