Washington D.C. – Some dude, apparently triggered by the thought of orange man bad... I mean, Biden sending drones to the sand, is currently squatting on the Frederick Douglass Memorial Bridge. At least he's getting some sun, unlike the basement dwellers who unironically retweet AOC.

This 45-year-old champion of peace, love, and understanding (and apparently bad decisions) decided the best way to own the cons was to inconvenience thousands of commuters and provide Al Jazeera with some primo virtue signaling material. Bet he's got a soy latte stashed up there somewhere.

Look, nobody wants another forever war. But Iran? Seriously? These are the guys who chant "Death to America" every Friday after prayers. They're basically the Middle East's version of that annoying vegan who won't shut up about animal rights at the BBQ. Negotiating with them is like trying to reason with a cat – futile and potentially dangerous.

The libs are probably creaming their jeans over this display of performative activism. "OMG, he's so brave!" Yeah, brave enough to block traffic and waste taxpayer money on police overtime. Real brave. The guy's probably angling for a spot on MSNBC.

This whole thing reeks of desperation. Biden's approval ratings are already lower than Kamala's chances of being president, and now this clown is trying to guilt-trip us into appeasing a regime that wants to wipe Israel off the map. Wake up, sheeple! The only thing this protest is accomplishing is giving the libs a participation trophy.

And Al Jazeera? Please. They're basically Iranian state media with a slightly more polished website. Giving them a platform to amplify this guy's nonsense is like letting Putin host a summit on election security.

I'm betting this ends with the guy being gently coaxed down, given a participation medal, and released with a stern warning. Maybe they'll even offer him a government job. Hey, it wouldn't be the craziest thing to happen in D.C. this week.

So, to the dude on the bridge: congrats on your 15 minutes of fame. Enjoy the view while it lasts. Just try not to fall, because that would be peak irony. And to everyone else stuck in traffic: sorry for your luck. Blame the virtue signalers.

Meanwhile, the real threats to America are ignored. The border's wide open, inflation's through the roof, and woke ideology is rotting our institutions from the inside. But hey, at least we're preventing World War III... by inconveniencing rush hour traffic.

Honestly, this whole thing is just sad. Another example of libs prioritizing feelings over facts. Get a grip, people. The world doesn't revolve around your anxieties. And maybe get a job while you're at it.

The bridge protestor should get a job. Or at least go get an iced coffee. It'll do more good than yelling about Iran.