Okay, boomer. Susan Collins, the walking, talking embodiment of the Republican establishment, is suddenly spilling the tea (or maybe just spilling her tea because of the tea) about a 'benign essential tremor.' Right. Because that's totally why she's always voting with the Dems and stabbing Trump in the back.

This geriatric sideshow act is claiming this tremor – which she's apparently had since, like, the Mesozoic era – won't affect her job. Sure, grandma. Just like voting to impeach Trump didn't affect her chances of getting primaried. Except it did.

She told News Center Maine, the kind of news outlet your grandpa gets his weather reports from, that it's 'extremely common.' Yeah, just like her excuses for selling out the conservative base. 'No impact on my ability to do my job'? Honey, your job is betraying conservatives.

Look, we all know what's really going on here. The swamp is slowly draining her of her life force, and the essential tremor is just a symptom. It's like that scene in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' when the Nazis open the Ark of the Covenant. Except instead of melting faces, it's just shaky hands and a career of spineless centrism.

And get this: she's bragging about how hard she works? 'If you talk to anybody in Washington, they will tell you that I am the hardest-working person that they have ever worked with.' Maybe she's just shaking so much she's generating her own electricity. That's efficiency, baby!

According to the Mayo Clinic (which, let's be honest, probably has a Collins wing named after her), essential tremor is common in old people. No duh. But the timing of this announcement is sus AF. She's getting primaried, and suddenly she's got a medical explanation for looking like she's auditioning for a Parkinson's commercial.

Don't fall for it, folks. This is just another desperate attempt by a swamp creature to cling to power. Next she'll be blaming her 'moderate' voting record on the medication. Wake up, sheeple!

Graham Platner? Probably just another Deep State plant. But at least he's not Susan Collins. Time to shake things up (pun intended, and unapologetically so). #MAGA #DrainTheSwamp #SusanCollinsIsOverParty