CANBERRA – Buckle up, buttercups, because Labor's at it again! They're extending their electric vehicle (EV) tax break, a.k.a. the 'Woke-Mobile Welfare Program,' and projecting it'll cost a cool $10.1 BILLION by 2029. That's right, your tax dollars are subsidizing Teslas for inner-city elites while you're stuck paying $3 a liter at the pump. Because, you know, equity.

Remember when they said this EV boondoggle would only cost $605 million? Yeah, that was before reality hit. Now, Treasurer Jim Chalmers and Energy Minister Chris Bowen are patting themselves on the back for being so 'visionary,' while quietly admitting they're going to have to dial back the gravy train a bit.

Their big plan? After another year of full subsidies, they'll only give the full discount to EVs under $75,000. Because that's totally affordable for the average Aussie, right? And then, for the real ballers driving fancy EVs between $75,000 and the luxury car tax threshold, they'll get a measly 25% discount. So generous!

Of course, they're spinning it as 'encouraging manufacturers to offer more affordable EVs.' Translation: forcing businesses to comply with their woke agenda by bribing them with your cash. Classic.

Meanwhile, the Strait of Hormuz is closed, fuel prices are skyrocketing, and everyone's suddenly discovered a burning passion for saving the planet. EVs are selling like hotcakes, thanks to the government's artificially inflated demand. It's almost like they planned it this way... Nah, couldn't be.

The geniuses at the Federal Chamber of Automotive Industries are reporting that EVs now make up 15% of new car sales. A whole 15%! Clearly, this proves we need to double down on the subsidies! The Electric Vehicle Council is also thrilled, boasting a 47% increase in Tesla and Polestar sales. Must be all those hard-working tradies buying them.

But hey, at least Chinese companies like BYD are selling cheap EVs. So we're basically subsidizing foreign manufacturers while destroying our own economy. Sounds like a winning strategy! And no one is asking where China gets the materials to build all of these batteries, or the environmental record for their mining operations.

So, to recap: Labor's EV tax break is a massive waste of money, distorts the market, benefits the wealthy, and props up foreign industries. But hey, at least they're 'doing something' about climate change. Even if that something is bankrupting the country.