So, a paper mill in Washington went boom. One less soy-latte-stained newspaper to worry about, maybe? One dead, nine missing. Cue the pearl-clutching and calls for more 'common sense' regulations from the same crowd that can't define 'woman'.

Look, nobody wants explosions. Except maybe Michael Bay. But let's be real – stuff happens. It's called entropy. And before the woke brigade starts screeching about corporate greed, maybe consider that running a business involves, y'know, risk. You can't bubble-wrap the entire economy and expect anything to get done. These libs wanna bring us back to living in caves.

OSHA's gonna poke around, find some 'violations' probably. And then the fines will roll in. Meanwhile, the mill's shut down, workers are unemployed, and the price of toilet paper is about to skyrocket. Thanks, government!

Bet you dollars to donuts this was some kinda freak accident, not some mustache-twirling CEO deliberately sabotaging the place for a tax write-off. But hey, gotta have a villain, right? Never let a crisis go to waste, as the saying goes.

And you KNOW the media will be all over this like flies on... well, you get the picture. Blaming 'climate change,' 'systemic racism,' and probably even Trump somehow. It's a bingo card of leftist grievances!

Remember that time some genius spilled hot coffee on themselves and sued McDonald's? Yeah, that's where this is headed. Everybody looking for a handout, nobody taking responsibility.

I bet the libs are already writing the script for some Oscar-bait movie about the 'exploited workers' and the 'evil corporation.' Because Hollywood gonna Hollywood.

In the meantime, pour one out for the workers who got caught in the blast. And brace yourself for the endless virtue signaling and regulatory overreach that's about to follow. Buy your toilet paper now, folks. You've been warned.

This is what happens when you let commies run the country. You get explosions. Metaphorically, and sometimes literally.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go buy some ammo. Just in case.