So, the geniuses at the IRS, after who-knows-how-many-billions of your tax dollars wasted, decided to can their Direct File program. Shocker. Turns out, running a competent software operation isn't exactly in the government's wheelhouse. Remember Healthcare.gov? Yeah, this probably would have been worse.

Instead, we get the 'Free File' program. That's where the IRS graciously allows Intuit (TurboTax) and H&R Block to 'volunteer' their tax software for certain qualified peasants. Of course, there's a catch (or twelve). You have to meet their income requirements, which are about as clear as swamp water. Miss the cutoff by a dollar? BAM! Time to bend over and pay up for the 'privilege' of filing your taxes.

And let's be real, 'free' is a four-letter word when it comes to Big Tax. These companies aren't doing it out of the goodness of their hearts. They're collecting your data, upselling you on 'premium' services, and probably selling your grandma's social security number to the highest bidder. But hey, at least it's 'free,' right?

Remember when the government promised us simpler taxes? Yeah, that was a good one. Instead, they create a Frankensteinian monster of a tax code so complicated that even CPAs need a shot of whiskey before diving in. And then they outsource the 'solution' to the very companies that profit from the complexity. It's genius, in a totally evil, mustache-twirling kind of way.

The Direct File debacle proves one thing: the government can't do anything right. They can barely deliver the mail on time, let alone run a sophisticated software program. So, instead of learning from their mistakes, they double down on the crony capitalism and let their corporate buddies pick up the slack.

But hey, at least you can file your taxes from the comfort of your own home, while simultaneously being mined for every last drop of your personal data. Progress! This is the future libs wanted, isn't it?

I wonder what kind of insane lobbying went on to kill Direct File. You think Intuit and H&R Block had absolutely nothing to do with it? You're as naive as Kamala Harris at a Mensa meeting.

The swamp is alive and well, folks. And it's draining your wallet, one 'free' tax form at a time. Remember to say thank you to your corporate overlords when you're filing your taxes this year. They're doing it all for you. For free. (wink, wink).

Just don’t ask too many questions when you get hit with that random “audit” afterwards. It was probably just a coincidence. A totally, completely, utterly, 100% random coincidence. Right?

So, here's to another year of government incompetence, corporate greed, and the slow, agonizing death of the American taxpayer. Cheers!

Sources: * Internal Revenue Service (IRS) - irs.gov * United States Government Accountability Office (GAO) - gao.gov