TEHRAN – So, get this. Some refinery on Lavan Island in Iran got hit. Boom. Now there's oil everywhere. Shocker.

Apparently, video footage shows it's not just a little puddle of crude. We're talking a full-blown eco-disaster in the making. Guess someone forgot to pay the protection money to the right people.

Nobody's saying who did it. Could be aliens. Could be a rogue drone. Could be the Mossad, could be a disgruntled employee. Who knows? Who cares? Point is, now there's a whole lot of oil where there shouldn't be.

Of course, the usual suspects will be wringing their hands about the environment. But let's be real, nobody actually cares about the fish until the price of sushi goes up. And frankly, the environment probably deserved it. It's been getting away with too much woke virtue signaling lately.

The Iranians are probably blaming America. America is probably blaming Russia. Russia is probably blaming Soros. And Soros is probably funding the clean-up operation, just to mess with everyone.

Meanwhile, the sea otters are screwed. The seagulls are covered in black goo. And the world keeps spinning. This is just another Tuesday in the Middle East. Buy the dip, folks. Buy the dip.

Honestly, this whole thing is just hilarious. The Mullahs are seething. The environmentalists are crying. And the rest of us are just waiting for the next season of this geopolitical dumpster fire.

Maybe this will finally push Iran to stop refining oil. Nah, just kidding. They'll probably just build another refinery, even closer to the coastline. Because why not?

It's all part of the great game. A game where the only rule is that there are no rules. And the only winner is the guy who laughs last. So, let's all have a good chuckle and watch the world burn. Metaphorically, of course. Although, with all that oil, maybe literally too.

Grab your popcorn. The show's just getting started.

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Sources:

- Wikipedia (for the basic facts, duh) - My gut feeling