So, Iran's crying about the mean ol' US sanctions again. Wah wah. Seems like when you're constantly funding terrorism, chanting 'Death to America,' and maybe, just maybe, dabbling in the ol' nuke-making game, Uncle Sam gets a little grumpy. Who knew?

Apparently, these 'sanctions' – you know, the ones that stop you from easily funding your global terror network – are 'biting.' Tehran says they can 'endure the pain.' Sure, Jan. We've heard that one before. It’s always the same song and dance.

Their oil may soon have nowhere to go? Good. Maybe they should've thought about that before they started acting like the schoolyard bully of the Middle East. Actions have consequences, snowflake. Remember that?

It's like when your mom takes away your Xbox because you keep using it to buy V-bucks instead of doing your homework. Except, in this case, the V-bucks are rockets and the homework is 'not funding Hezbollah.'

We're supposed to feel bad because their economy is tanking? Please. Their economy has been propped up on oil money for decades while their people suffer under a tyrannical regime. It's about time they faced some real consequences.

I’m no expert, but maybe if you stopped threatening to wipe Israel off the map, people would be more inclined to buy your oil. Just a thought.

This whole situation is like that meme where the guy is riding his bike and sticks a stick in the spokes, then blames someone else when he falls. Iran is the guy, the stick is their foreign policy, and the blame is directed at the US.

So, yeah, Iran is under pressure. Boo hoo. Maybe they should try a little less 'death to America' and a little more 'peace in the Middle East.' Just a suggestion. But hey, what do I know? I'm just some CHUD on the internet. But at least I'm not funding terrorists.

The lesson here? Don’t be a global menace. It's bad for business. And your oil exports.

It's time for Iran to get its act together. Or, you know, keep crying about sanctions. Your choice.

Sources:

* U.S. Department of the Treasury * U.S. Department of State * Foundation for Defense of Democracies (FDD)