Another day, another crisis manufactured in some godforsaken corner of the planet. This time it's the Strait of Hormuz, where someone's decided to stir the pot and send oil prices skyrocketing. Brent crude, that magical elixir that keeps our SUVs running and our Amazon packages arriving, is up nearly 6 percent. Translation: Get ready to pay more for everything, because inflation is totally transitory, bro.

This whole thing is a giant psyop, probably orchestrated by George Soros and the WEF to force us all into electric scooters and bug-based protein bars. Or maybe it's just good old-fashioned geopolitical gamesmanship. Either way, the average Joe is gonna get hosed. Remember that ceasefire everyone was so optimistic about? Yeah, well, it's about as stable as Hunter Biden after a crack binge.

Of course, the talking heads on TV will blame Putin, or climate change, or whatever boogeyman they're pushing this week. But the real problem is our dependence on this rickety system of global trade and energy production. We're one stray missile away from a complete economic meltdown, and nobody seems to care.

So what's a thinking CHUD to do? Stock up on gas, buy some canned goods, and maybe invest in a good Faraday cage for your electronics. The apocalypse is coming, and it's gonna be brought to you by the same people who told you masks were gonna stop the Kung Flu. Prepare yourselves, citizens. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

And remember, don't trust the experts. They're all lying to you. Do your own research. Question everything. And never, ever forget that the system is rigged.

MAGA! And buy Bitcoin.