So, the geniuses at the NTSB finally figured out why that China Eastern flight turned into a lawn dart back in '22. Turns out, someone decided to play with the fuel switches mid-flight. Yup, both of 'em. At cruising altitude. Sounds like a perfectly normal accident, right? Totally not suspicious that they haven't released their own report, just citing 'national security'. More like 'national embarrassment' am I right?

Fuel switches in the 'off' position at 29,000 feet? That's not your average turbulence encounter. That's a 'hold my Tsingtao, I'm about to end this' level of commitment. Maybe this pilot was just really, really tired of woke indoctrination sessions or the CCP's social credit score system. Or perhaps a gambling debt? The possibilities are endless when you're dealing with a regime that values conformity over competence.

And let's be real, China's 'national security' excuse is about as believable as Biden's claim that he's running the country. They don't want to admit someone intentionally crashed the plane because it makes them look weak. Can't have that, especially when they're busy threatening Taiwan and building islands in the South China Sea.

Remember when they tried to blame pilot suicide, then denied it? Classic CCP. Deny, deny, deny until the truth becomes a conspiracy theory. At least the NTSB had the balls to release their findings under the Freedom of Information Act. Freedom... something the citizens of China can only dream about.

The CAA is out here saying the pilots had valid licenses, were well-rested, and passed health checks? Maybe they should add a 'sanity check' to the list. Or, you know, not force people to live under a totalitarian regime. Just a thought.

So next time you're flying China Eastern, just remember this story. Maybe pack a parachute, just in case. And pray the pilot hasn't had too much exposure to Xi Jinping's 'thoughts'.

In conclusion, this whole situation is a clown show. China's hiding something, the NTSB spilled the beans, and 132 people are dead. But hey, at least we got a new conspiracy theory out of it. MAGA!

This is just more proof that the CCP is hiding something... What's next, UFOs? Global warming isn't real? Who knows what they're up to, but one thing is for sure: they can't be trusted. And no one should be flying with them. Period.

Next time you're planning a trip, maybe think twice about flying Chinese airlines. Just sayin'.