YAN'AN, CHINA - So, the ChiComs got bullet trains zipping through tea gardens. The Frogs and Krauts are all about efficient rail travel. Meanwhile, here in the good ol' US of A, we're stuck battling rush hour traffic in our gas-guzzling freedom machines or getting groped by the TSA. What gives?

Apparently, 'Murica is just too darn free for efficient public transport. We're a nation built on the open road and the wild blue yonder. Why would we want to be crammed into a metal tube with a bunch of strangers when we can be stuck in our own metal box, breathing sweet, sweet exhaust fumes?

China's got like, a bajillion miles of high-speed rail, right? Since 2008, they've slapped down around 26,000 miles (42,000 kilometers) and are planning to hit 43,000 miles (70,000 kilometers) by 2035. We've got a measly 375 route-miles of track cleared for operation at speeds exceeding 100 mph. Sad!

Some egghead from Railway Age, a guy named William C. Vantuono, is whining that Americans "have no concept of high-speed rail." Yeah, well, maybe we're too busy enjoying our freedom to care about some commie train system.

Remember those glorious passenger trains of yesteryear? The "Empire Builder," "Super Chief," and "Silver Comet"? Hollywood movie stars and business titans riding in style? Now they're all rusting hulks thanks to the libs and their woke policies that defunded them. Now you have Amtrak which is mostly a dumping ground for old train cars and taxpayer money.

Biden's boondoggle of an "infrastructure bill" – a cool $1.2 TRILLION – includes a pathetic $170 billion for railroads. Yeah, that'll fix everything. More like a slush fund for his buddies at the union and the diversity hires to mismanage it. There's the privately funded Brightline in Florida, which is promising a high-speed link between LA and Vegas by 2027. Don't hold your breath; I fully expect it to be late and over budget.

Historically, America was all about trains. But then the government got involved, building highways and subsidizing airlines. Now we're stuck with a system that's inefficient, expensive, and soul-crushing.

High-speed rail? Sounds like a high-speed ticket to higher taxes, more government control, and a whole lotta virtue signaling. We'd rather stick to our cars and planes, thank you very much. At least we can choose our own music and tell the flight attendant to shove it when they offer us a bag of peanuts.

Implementing high-speed rail in the US? More like implementing a bureaucratic nightmare of regulations, environmental lawsuits, and eminent domain battles.

The future of high-speed rail in the US? Probably more of the same: empty promises, wasted money, and broken dreams. Maybe Elon Musk will build a Hyperloop or something. That would be kinda cool (if it ever actually works).

Remember when trains were cool? When they symbolized progress and adventure? Now they're just another symbol of government incompetence and wasted potential. Sad!

Maybe we should just focus on fixing our roads and airports. And stop trying to be like Europe. 'Murica, baby!

High speed rail? More like Slow Speed Fail!