Melbourne – Andrew Hastie, bless his heart, just gave the normies a dose of reality they weren't ready for. In a speech to the Robert Menzies Institute – probably full of geriatric boomers sipping chardonnay and talking about cricket – Hastie basically said we're turning into a bunch of strategic eunuchs thanks to our unhealthy obsession with the US alliance.

He's not wrong. We've outsourced our national security to a country that, under the right (or wrong, depending on your perspective) leadership, might just decide to tell us to pound sand. Trump? Remember him? Hastie does. He knows that America First means America first, not Australia getting a free ride. Sad!

This whole “sovereign capability” thing is code for: “We need to stop buying overpriced crap from Lockheed Martin and actually build stuff here.” Remember when Australia had a manufacturing sector? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Now we're just a bunch of glorified miners and sheep herders, waiting for the next shipment of iPhones and Raytheon missiles.

And the Middle East war? Hastie gets it. It's a wake-up call. The world is getting spicy, and relying on someone else to protect you is like showing up to a knife fight with a spork. Cute, but ultimately useless.

“Anzus is going to continue for another 75 years, we need to invest in our industrial base and our defence force.” Translation: Either we pull our weight, or the Yanks are gonna realize we're just dead weight and cut us loose. And then who's gonna protect us from the… uh… emus?

Hastie's a former soldier, so he knows what he's talking about. He's seen the sausage get made. He understands that national security isn't just about waving flags and singing anthems; it's about having the guns, the planes, and the factories to back it all up. Also, based take: The defense industry needs a HUGE kick in the butt. Get woke, go broke, and nobody wants your rainbow bombs. (Disclaimer: Bombs should not be rainbow colored).

The opposition leader, Angus Taylor, probably thinks Hastie's being a bit too alarmist. Typical. Politicians gonna politic. Meanwhile, the world's on fire, and we're over here arguing about pronouns and carbon credits.

Let's be real: Australia needs to grow a pair. We need to stop simping for America and start acting like a grown-up nation. That means investing in our own defense, building our own industries, and telling the woke globalists to shove their ESG scores where the sun don't shine.