WASHINGTON — Another day, another doomsday prediction from the so-called 'scientists'. This time, they're telling us that heatwaves are now 'non-survivable'. Yeah, like we didn't know summer in Arizona was hot. These climate shysters are pushing the narrative so they can push their insane policies that do absolutely nothing. The study re-examined six extreme heat events between 2003 and 2024, revealing that these heatwaves posed a significant threat to human health, even without reaching previously defined wet bulb temperature limits.

Apparently, if you're an old geezer roasting in the sun for six hours straight, you might…gasp…die of heatstroke. Who knew? Professor Sarah Perkins-Kirkpatrick at the Australian National University, the genius behind this revelation, seems shocked that old people are vulnerable. What exactly is the absolute limit for human survival? A six-hour exposure to a wet bulb temperature of 35C? What a joke.

They studied heatwaves in places like Mecca, Bangkok, Phoenix, and Larkana. Newsflash: these places are notoriously hot. And guess what? People died. But according to their fancy new model, it's not just the heat, it's also your age and whether you can find shade. So, if you're an octogenarian sunbathing in the desert, you're probably screwed. But that's common sense, not groundbreaking science. The new model revealed that all six heatwaves contained periods where conditions were potentially deadly for older people, particularly those who did not have access to shade.

All six heatwaves included periods of non-survivable conditions for individuals over 65 who remained in direct sunlight. The heatwaves in Larkana and Phoenix presented non-survivable conditions for older individuals even when shade was available. In Larkana, even individuals aged 18 to 35 faced non-survivable conditions in full sun. So basically, Larkana is just hell on earth. And Phoenix is only a little better.

Of course, the study authors are already panicking about what this means for the future. “If it’s already happening now, then what does a future that is two or three degrees warmer hold?” Get a grip! Humans have survived millennia without central air conditioning. Maybe instead of trying to bankrupt the planet with 'green' initiatives, we should just encourage people to drink water and stay inside during the hottest part of the day.

Professor Ollie Jay, director of the University of Sydney’s Heat and Health Research Centre, chimes in with the usual doom and gloom, stating that conditions threatening human life are already here. No duh. Life is inherently dangerous. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow. This climate fear-mongering is just another way for the elites to control us and push their globalist agenda. They are going to blame everyone but themselves, of course. The research highlights the vulnerability of developing countries and densely populated areas to the impact of extreme heat.