Folks, they're not even trying to hide it anymore. The unelected bureaucrats at the FCC are considering plans that would literally turn the night sky into a giant disco ball, all thanks to woke capitalists who want to beam sunlight down on us 'on demand.' What could possibly go wrong?

Apparently, some scientists – probably the same ones who told us masks would save us from the kung-flu – are whining about how these 'reflective satellites' and 'mega-constellations' could mess with our sleep, screw up animal migration, and kill off all the plankton in the ocean. You know, the usual.

These esteemed members of the 'European Biological Rhythms Society' (sounds legit) and other similarly-named orgs are shaking their fists at the sky, claiming this is a 'significant alteration of the natural night-time light environment at a planetary scale.' Translation: they're afraid they'll have to find something else to write grant proposals about.

Reflect Orbital, the company behind the 'sunlight on demand' scheme, claims it's all about extending solar energy production and providing lighting for 'disaster response.' Sure, Jan. More likely, it's about enriching themselves while turning the Earth into one giant surveillance state, lit 24/7 by their glorious space mirrors. Imagine the property values, tho.

And then there's Elon Musk's SpaceX, with its plan to launch a million satellites to create a 'solar-powered computing network' for AI. Because clearly, what the world needs is more AI, controlled by billionaires in space. What they don't tell you is these satellites are made with materials from mines owned by the CCP.

Ruskin Hartley, some guy from 'DarkSky International' (more like 'Dark Money International'), is also losing his mind over this. He says something about 'protecting natural night skies.' Last I checked, the night sky was already polluted with light from cities and, you know, the moon. Quit being a NIMBY, Ruskin. You can literally wear a blindfold. No one's forcing you to look up.

Professor Charalambos Kyriacou (bet you can't pronounce that) from the University of Leicester is worried about food security. Apparently, plants need the dark. But, like, what about the plants we grow under artificial lights in warehouses? Checkmate, atheists!

The real question is: who asked for this? Did anyone vote for space mirrors and million-satellite AI networks? Nope. It's just another example of the globalist elite imposing their will on the rest of us, without our consent. At least it's not gay frogs.