Oi, you still think the Great Reset is just a conspiracy theory? Check your grocery bill, mate. The UK consumer is about to get absolutely rinsed, and it's not just because woke corporations are jacking up prices to fund their ESG virtue signaling. Turns out, when you destabilize the Middle East and rely on global supply chains run by commies, things get a tad pricey. Who could have seen that coming?

So, the BRC – basically the Karen collective of retail – is whining about a 1.2% price hike. Big deal, right? Wrong. That's just the tip of the iceberg. Furniture and your overpriced “self-care” products are gonna bleed you dry. But hey, at least you can get a cheap TV to watch the World Cup while the country collapses around you. Distraction is key, peasants.

Speaking of distractions, remember when the government swore Brexit would solve all our problems? Yeah, me neither. Now we're stuck with higher energy bills, shipping delays, and raw material costs that are through the roof. Turns out cutting ties with the EU doesn't magically fix global supply chains or prevent wars in Iran. Shocker.

Helen Dickinson from the BRC – probably drives a Tesla and lectures you about your carbon footprint – wants the government to cut taxes and red tape. Good luck with that, love. The politicians are too busy virtue signaling on Twitter and lining their pockets to actually do anything useful. It's all part of the plan, sheeple.

And don't even get me started on the BCC. Apparently, only 16% of businesses haven't been financially sodomized by the whole Iran debacle. William Bain, some pencil-pusher in a suit, says the economic impact will last for “many months to come.” As if we didn't know that already. Thanks for the profound insight, Bill.

Manufacturing is getting hammered, which means fewer jobs for the lads and lasses. But hey, at least the corporations are still raking in record profits while blaming everything on “external factors.” It's the circle of globalist life, and you're the one getting screwed.

Three-quarters of companies expect their energy bills to rise in the next year. That's because the Green New Deal is working exactly as intended: to bankrupt the middle class and transfer wealth to the elites who own all the “sustainable” energy companies. Wake up, people!

The government's response? Probably some performative nonsense about “supporting vulnerable communities” and “investing in renewable energy.” Translation: more taxes, more regulations, and more money for their cronies. You're being played, and you're too busy binge-watching Netflix to notice.