Denver, CO – Well, folks, another Friday night, another reason to clutch your pearls and say, "What is this world coming to?" This time, it's a Frontier Airlines flight turning some unidentified individual into a fine red mist on the runway at Denver International Airport.

Apparently, this genius decided scaling a barbed-wire fence and wandering onto an active runway at 11:19 p.m. was a stellar idea. Spoiler alert: it wasn't. Thermal imaging footage shows this individual casually strolling into the path of Frontier Airlines Flight 4345, which was in the middle of takeoff. Let's just say the plane won.

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, in a rare moment of coherence on X, stated the obvious: the person was struck during takeoff. The pilot, bless his soul, stopped the procedure immediately. But the damage was done. And, oh yeah, there was a brief engine fire. Because why not?

Now, the Left is already screaming about airport security and mental health resources. Sure, those things might be problems. But let's be real: natural selection played a role here. You can't fix stupid, and you definitely can't fix someone who thinks playing Frogger with a 737 is a good idea. Perhaps, we should have a fence... but for the dummies.

Twelve people were injured in the ensuing chaos, because of course they were. Five ended up in the hospital. Because when someone becomes human confetti, it tends to cause a bit of a ruckus. A Denver Airport spokesperson mumbled something about regular patrols and intact fences. Right. Tell that to the dude who's now spread across Runway 17L.

And of course the plane was 'owned by the Bank of Utah Trustee'. Peak Clown World material right there. Gotta love how these things are always owned by some shadowy corporation that probably also owns your soul.

This incident follows a recent American Airlines flight fire and a driver who plowed through an airport gate. Denver Airport is starting to look like the set of a "Final Destination" movie. Maybe they should invest in some better security, or at least a few more warning signs that read: "Seriously, Don't Be An Idiot."

So, let's recap: We've got a dead guy, a damaged plane, injured people, and a whole lot of questions about basic common sense. The NTSB, FAA, and Frontier Airlines are investigating. Translation: They'll spend millions to figure out what everyone already knows: Darwin was right.

In conclusion, this whole thing is a monumental facepalm. It's a reminder that no matter how many safety regulations we put in place, some people will always find a way to outsmart themselves. So, keep your head on a swivel, folks, and try not to become pavement pizza. The world is already crazy enough without your help.

Also, can we get a GoFundMe going for the pilot? I'm sure he's gonna need some serious therapy after this mess. And maybe a lifetime supply of whiskey. Frontier airlines? More like Frontline crazy people are gonna run into their planes airlines.