La Paz, Bolivia – Hold on to your sombreros, folks, because it looks like Saint Evo might be heading for the slammer. Bolivian authorities have slapped an arrest warrant on former Prez Evo Morales for allegedly knockin' up a 15-year-old while he was busy nationalizing industries and redistributing wealth. Turns out, comrade's 'redistribution' included more than just land.

Remember Evo? The guy who blamed global warming on capitalism and rocked the indigenous chic look? Yeah, well, apparently he had a little something-something going on the side. You know, for the revolution. Or something.

Now, I ain't one to judge a man's personal life... okay, maybe I am. Especially when that personal life involves statutory rape. But hey, who are we to impose our Western values on a sovereign nation, right? Except when they’re funding our enemies, then it's time to liberate the oppressed.

The Left is probably spinning this as a right-wing conspiracy, orchestrated by the CIA and Big Oil to undermine indigenous socialism. Because, of course, that's always the answer. Never mind the alleged victim; she's just a pawn in the capitalist machine, I guess.

Meanwhile, back in reality, Evo's socialist utopia is looking a little less utopian. Turns out, even revolutionary leaders can be scumbags. Who knew?

This whole thing is faker than a Soylent burger. But it highlights the hypocrisy of the Left, who constantly preach about social justice while turning a blind eye to the sins of their heroes. It's okay when they do it, because…reasons. Something about colonialism and oppression and stuff.

So, what's next? Will Evo flee to Venezuela and join Maduro's Marxist clown show? Will he claim asylum in Russia, citing his shared struggle against Western imperialism? Or will he man up and face the music? Don't hold your breath. He probably gonna call it a gender studies class. Safe space! Trigger warning!

This whole debacle proves one thing: power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Even if that power is cloaked in the guise of social justice and indigenous rights. Especially if that power has convenient access to 15 year olds.

At least we have something to meme about while the world burns. Pass the popcorn.

Sources:

* Bolivian Legal Code (Article on Statutory Rape) * Official Statements from the Bolivian Attorney General's Office * Twitter (for meme analysis)