So, Everyman, the place where you can watch the latest Marvel flick while sipping overpriced Whispering Angel, is apparently circling the drain. Who could have seen that coming? Oh, right, anyone with a brain.

For years, Everyman positioned itself as the refuge for bougie elites who think reclining sofas and smash burgers elevate the cinematic experience. But turns out, charging an arm and a leg for everything isn't a sustainable business model, especially when everyone else is copying your schtick.

The virtue signaling and woke pandering didn't help either. All that performative activism and corporate wokeness to save the environment and redistribute wealth when you can't even pay your own bills, sounds familiar.

They got a profit warning, the finance director bolted, and the CEO got the boot. Sounds like a party, but without the overpriced drinks. And their share price? Plummeting faster than CNN's ratings.

Turns out, being 'premium' doesn't shield you from basic economics. You can't just slap a fancy label on something and expect people to keep throwing money at it, especially when the 'something' is increasingly mediocre movies.

Their problems started way before COVID, but the lockdowns definitely didn't help. Then the Hollywood strikes hit, because apparently even millionaires need to whine about their 'struggles.'

Now they've got some new lady boss trying to 'reset' things. Good luck with that, honey. You're gonna need more than a fresh coat of paint to fix this dumpster fire. She can start by ditching the wokeness and focusing on actually making money.

They're blaming 'competition,' but maybe, just maybe, people are tired of being ripped off. Maybe they'd rather watch a movie at home in their pajamas, with a six-pack of beer that costs less than a single glass of rosé at Everyman.

The whole saga is a perfect illustration of the current state of affairs. Elites lecturing you on morality while simultaneously bleeding you dry. Corporate virtue signaling masking a complete lack of competence.

The takeaway? Get woke, go broke. And maybe, just maybe, learn to enjoy a movie without needing a personal waiter and a wine list that costs more than your car payment. Time to build our own cinemas in the metaverse anyway.