So, the perpetually-aggrieved Euro airports are at it again, running to the EU mommy and daddy with tales of woe. Apparently, if the black gold gravy train from the Strait of Hormuz gets even a tiny bit delayed, it's gonna be a “systemic” shortage. Systemic! Sounds serious, right? Sounds like they need a safe space and a participation trophy.

Translation: the overpriced lattes and duty-free perfume might be harder to come by. Oh, the humanity! The horror! But seriously, folks, this whole thing is just a massive indictment of Europe's complete and utter dependence on…wait for it…foreign oil. Shocker.

Three weeks, they whine. Three weeks before the guillotines come out because the Chardonnay delivery is late. Three weeks to get their collective act together and realize that maybe, just maybe, relying on a volatile region for your entire economy isn't the smartest play in the history of ever.

Of course, the EU bureaucrats will probably just throw more money at the problem, blame climate change (even though it’s totally unrelated), and call it a day. Maybe they’ll demand that everyone start flying on recycled unicorn farts. You know, “for the planet.”

Alternative fuel sources? You mean like the stuff that doesn't come from a geopolitical tinderbox? Don't be ridiculous. That would involve actual planning and foresight, two things these people are allergic to. They'll just blame it on Putin or Trump. That always works.

“Systemic” shortage, my Aunt Fanny. It’s a shortage of common sense. A shortage of self-reliance. A shortage of anything resembling a long-term strategy. It's a shortage of actual leadership and responsibility, something that Europeans have outsourced to unelected bureaucrats. Maybe they should try fracking! Oh wait, they banned it.

So, what's the solution? Simple: drill, baby, drill. Unleash American energy. Stop apologizing for success. And tell the Euro airports to get a grip. The world doesn't revolve around their overpriced parking fees and baggage surcharges.

Start burning coal, and send the Sierra Club into a rage! The snowflakes will melt from the sheer awesomeness of it. Get ready for the libs to scream about the environment! Then again, maybe this is their plan all along. No fuel, no planes, no climate change! Checkmate, conservatives!

But hey, at least it’ll be entertaining to watch the virtue-signaling elite scramble to find alternative modes of transportation. Maybe they'll finally discover the joys of a good old-fashioned road trip…in their Teslas, powered by…checks notes…electricity generated by…checks notes again…the very fossil fuels they’re trying to ban. Irony is dead.

Sources: - U.S. Energy Information Administration (EIA) - International Energy Agency (IEA) - ZeroHedge (for the lulz, but still factual)