Welp, here we go again. Another Ebola outbreak in the Democratic Republic of Congo, with a delightful 65 souls already meeting their maker. The Africa Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC Africa), bless their hearts, are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Apparently, about 246 cases are popping up in the usual suspect areas, Mongwalu and Rwampara.

Four of those dearly departed were even confirmed by the lab. You know, just to add a touch of scientific legitimacy to the whole impending doom scenario. The geniuses at CDC Africa are having a pow-wow with DR Congo, Uganda, South Sudan, and a bunch of other international partners. Translation: lots of virtue signaling and zero actual solutions.

Our buddies at the Institut National de Recherche Biomédicale (INRB) in Kinshasa, bless their cotton socks, managed to find Ebola in 13 out of 20 samples. That’s a batting average that would make Fauci proud. All done in consultation with the DR Congo Ministry of Health and National Public Institute, naturally. Because bureaucracy is always the answer.

Ebola, for those of you who slept through biology class (and honestly, who didn't?), is that lovely virus that turns your insides into a bloody smoothie. It spreads through direct contact with bodily fluids, which is why you should probably rethink that whole 'global hug' thing. Symptoms include fever, muscle pain, fatigue, headache, and a sore throat – basically, a really bad hangover from hell.

First showed its ugly face in DR Congo back in '76, probably hopped over from some bats. And guess what? No cure. That's right, folks. Modern medicine, supposedly so advanced, is still stumped by a bat virus. Makes you think.

The Congo had a real party between 2018 and 2020, with a staggering 2,300 people kicking the bucket courtesy of Ebola. Last year, only 15 people died (progress!), making it their 16th outbreak. They must be racking up frequent flyer miles on that outbreak counter.

So, what’s the takeaway here? Globalism is a vector for disease. Bureaucracy is useless. And bats are probably plotting our demise. The solution? Secure the borders. Cut off funding to useless international organizations. And maybe invest in some serious bat-repelling technology.

While the elites sip their lattes and preach about 'interconnectedness,' real people are dying from preventable diseases. Maybe it's time to ditch the kumbaya circle and start focusing on common sense solutions. Like, you know, not letting deadly viruses waltz across borders.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stock up on hand sanitizer and duct tape. Just in case. And maybe a few extra cans of bug spray. Because you never know when those bats are going to make their move.