Alright, folks, settle down. The hysteria machine is firing up again. Ebola's back, baby! This time in the Democratic Republic of Congo, because of course it is. Some do-gooder American doctor, Dr. Peter Stafford, caught it while playing Operation in the jungle. Now he's off to Germany for the five-star treatment, courtesy of your tax dollars. Hope he enjoys the spa, because the Congolese ain't getting any fancy German healthcare.

The WHO is flapping its gums about the “scale and speed” of the outbreak, because that's what they do. They warned us about bird flu, swine flu, and whatever other flavor-of-the-month pandemic was gonna wipe us all out. Remember that? Yeah, me neither. Meanwhile, 134 suspected deaths and over 500 cases of this hemorrhagic hootenanny. Fun times for everyone involved.

Stafford, bless his heart, apparently operated on some dude with Ebola before anyone knew what was up. Real Nancy Drew stuff. Now his wife and kids are being watched like hawks. Let's hope they stocked up on toilet paper, because quarantines are a real drag.

The WHO is promising a vaccine in six to nine months. Great. By then, this whole thing will either be over or we'll all be wearing hazmat suits to the grocery store. Either way, it's a win-win for Big Pharma.

This whole thing is just another reminder that the Third World is a festering petri dish of disease and chaos. We're supposed to feel bad and send them money, which will inevitably end up in some corrupt warlord's Swiss bank account. Circle of life, am I right?

Dr. Stafford, being a “meticulous professional,” was all gowned up like he was about to perform brain surgery. But guess what? Ebola don't care about your sterile garb and gloves. It's coming for you, whether you like it or not. This reminds me of that movie Outbreak, starring Dustin Hoffman. Good movie. You should watch it.

Of course, the WHO says the risk of a global pandemic is “very low.” That's what they always say. It's like when your mechanic says your car is “mostly okay” right before the engine explodes. I am saying that the WHO are liars who are trying to pull the wool over your eyes. But it is a lot harder to cause a worldwide scare with Ebola than it was with Covid. Those were the days!

Anyway, stay tuned, folks. This Ebola outbreak is either going to fizzle out or turn into a full-blown zombie apocalypse. Either way, I'll be here, providing you with the hard-hitting truth that the mainstream media is too afraid to touch.