Oh, the triggered tears are flowing, folks! Seems like the Democrat establishment is having a full-blown conniption fit after Colin Allred, a straight Black dude (gasp!), dared to win a primary against Julie Johnson, a lesbian. The Equality PAC, basically the Politburo of the Alphabet People, is screaming bloody murder about the supposed loss of LGBTQ+ representation.

"It’s no secret that, without Julie, Texas — and likely the entire South — will lose openly LGBTQ representation in Congress," wailed the co-chairs, Takano and Torres. Translation: Only certain protected classes are allowed to win now. Meritocracy is so last century.

Of course, the usual suspects are lining up to virtue signal. Journalist Josh Barro, bless his heart, had the audacity to point out that "straight people are allowed to run for office." The horror! Tré Easton, a former Fetterman aide, correctly diagnosed the Equality PAC's whine-fest as belonging in "Woke 1." Someone get this man a participation trophy for speaking the truth.

Meanwhile, Hakeem Jeffries is busy trying to distract everyone with the usual accusations of Republican racism. Because apparently, everything is about race, even when it’s about sexual orientation. These people are playing identity politics on 4D chess boards while the rest of us are just trying to figure out how to afford gas.

Let's be real: This whole thing is a giant clown show. The Dems are so obsessed with checking off boxes on their intersectionality scorecard that they've completely lost touch with reality. They'd rather lose elections than risk offending the Twitterati. And then they wonder why normal people are fleeing the party in droves.

The Equality PAC threw almost half a million dollars at Johnson's campaign, proving once again that money can't buy you love (or votes). Allred, the un-woke interloper, simply won because he was the better candidate. Shocking, I know.

Allred had previously abandoned a Senate run, which is probably why he challenged Johnson in the House primary. Political opportunism? You betcha. But at least he won, unlike his attempt to unseat Ted Cruz back in '24.

So, congrats to Allred for surviving the woke gauntlet. Now he has to spend the next few months groveling before the altar of identity politics, lest he be cancelled into oblivion. The irony is almost too delicious to bear.

This whole episode just proves one thing: The Democratic Party is eating itself alive. Pass the popcorn.