WASHINGTON - Okay, so get this: the geniuses in our intelligence community 'leaked' (read: subtly whispered into the ear of their favorite journo) that Iran… wait for it… still has missiles. Near the Strait of Hormuz. Like, duh. Secret assessments reveal Iran has operational access to 30 out of 33 missile sites. Apparently, Trump said they were weaker? LOL.

Strait of Hormuz, that’s the skinny little waterway where all the oil tankers go. Imagine a bunch of dudes in speedboats with RPGs trying to mess with global gas prices. Good times. Except not.

Remember that time we were gonna bomb Iran back to the Stone Age? Good times. Seemed like a Tuesday. But apparently, those deep state pencil-pushers in the intel agencies were all like, 'Whoa there, Mr. President, they still got some boom-booms.'

So, basically, Trump's 'maximum pressure' campaign? Maybe not quite as effective as advertised. Who could have seen that coming? Besides everyone with a functioning brain.

It’s almost like constantly poking a bear with a stick doesn’t make it weaker, just angrier. And maybe slightly more inclined to throw a missile or two in your general direction.

Of course, the usual suspects are already calling for diplomacy and rainbows and unicorns. Because that always works, right? Tell the guys who chant 'Death to America' that we just want to be friends. They'll totally listen.

Meanwhile, the real question is: how long before Iran manages to get their hands on some nukes? Because let's be honest, that's the endgame here. And then, game over, man, game over.

So, keep calm, buy gold, and maybe learn a few phrases in Farsi. You know, just in case. Remember when everyone was panicking about Russia? This is that, but with more sand and less vodka.

But hey, at least we're not building windmills, right? (Narrator: He doesn't know what windmills are for.)

Maybe it's time to dust off the old 'shock and awe' playbook. Or maybe just nuke 'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. (Disclaimer: I am being sarcastic… mostly.)

Bottom line: Iran's still a problem. A big, missile-slinging problem. And pretending otherwise is just peak cope. Back to the Shadow Docket.

Sources:

RAND Corporation (because even they* probably have some Iran reports) * Wikipedia (for a quick refresher on the Strait of Hormuz) * My Uncle Steve (he's got opinions)