Yo, so the El Pres, Dave Portnoy, just absolutely ethered some rando political dude trying to get him to simp for this Graham Platner guy. Turns out Platner's running for Senate in Maine, and this Jeff Coote cat, some strategist-type, thought it would be a great idea to get Portnoy on board with dunking on the Red Sox owners for being all about that private equity life. Like, bruh, read the room.

Coote thought Portnoy would be down to clown on 'big bad John Henry,' owner of Fenway Sports Group. He's probably thinking, 'Oh, Portnoy's a Boston guy, he hates everything, easy mark!' But here's the kicker: Platner's rocking a Totenkopf tattoo. You know, the skull-and-crossbones thing the Nazis used to sport? Yeah, that Totenkopf.

So Portnoy, being Jewish and not a complete moron, hit Coote with the “Is this the Nazi guy?” line. Coote tries to play it off, probably sweating bullets, but Portnoy ain't having it. He basically tells Coote to get bent unless Platner wants to go mano-a-mano and explain his questionable ink. Then Portnoy dropped the mic with the “I’m not Bernie Sanders” line, because even Bernie wouldn't touch this radioactive dumpster fire. For context, Bernie's also Jewish but, ya know, politics makes strange bedfellows.

The whole thing's playing out on Twitter, naturally, because where else would based takes like this be delivered? Portnoy's roasting Platner's campaign for even thinking he'd want to get involved. Meanwhile, NESN, the Red Sox-owned network, pulled Platner's ad, citing some BS about intellectual property. Yeah, okay, sure. Probably just didn't want to be associated with a dude who looks like he's auditioning for a Waffen-SS cosplay convention.

The lesson here? Don't try to grift Dave Portnoy into promoting your Nazi-adjacent candidate. It's not gonna end well. And maybe, just maybe, don't get a Nazi tattoo if you're planning on running for public office. Just a thought. This whole saga proves that even in the clown world we live in, some lines still shouldn't be crossed. And if you're a political strategist, maybe do some actual research before pitching a collaboration. You know, like, a basic Google search. It could save you a whole lot of embarrassment. Also, shout out to El Pres for keeping it real and not bending the knee to the woke mob... or the Nazi mob, in this case.