Medellín, Colombia – So, remember that whole “peace deal” thing in Colombia? Turns out giving commie guerrillas a participation trophy and a pat on the back didn’t exactly usher in world peace. Now, thanks to the magic of Amazon Prime and Chinese manufacturing, they’re slinging weaponized drones like they’re delivering Uber Eats.

First drone fatality? A 10-year-old at a soccer game. Real classy. Since then, they’ve been hitting hospitals, schools – basically anywhere soft targets congregate. Seems like the only thing these “freedom fighters” are liberating is oxygen from the living.

According to the ACLED, drone attacks went from “lol, one” in 2023 to “oh sh*t, 149” in 2025. The Colombian Ministry of Defense, probably staffed with bureaucrats who think pronouns are more important than patrol routes, claims 333 attacks last year. Either way, it's trending in the wrong direction, folks.

These ain't no sophisticated, DARPA-funded killing machines. We're talking DJI Phantoms duct-taped to grenades. The kind of thing you buy for Junior's birthday and then complain about when he flies it into the neighbor's window. But hey, cheap and effective, right? Peak efficiency for the 'people's revolution'.

The Colombian army, bless their hearts, is launching their own drone program. Good luck fighting asymmetrical warfare with bureaucracy. It’s like bringing a knife to a gun fight, except the knife is covered in red tape and requires a six-month training course to sharpen.

Humberto de la Calle, ex-VP and professional hand-wringer, is quoted as saying: “The old guerrillas tried a thousand times to get missiles and never succeeded… With drones… we must stop the ways we are being attacked from the air.” Translation: “We messed up, big time, and now we’re scrambling to fix it with more virtue signaling.”

This is what happens when you prioritize woke ideology over national security. When you treat terrorists like misunderstood social justice warriors. When you think “peace” is achieved through negotiations instead of overwhelming force. You end up with soccer games becoming target practice.

So, next time you see some politician bloviating about the evils of capitalism and the need for global kumbaya, remember Colombia. Remember the drones. And remember that weakness invites aggression. Now go buy some ammo.