Okay, Zoomers, listen up. The Bern is back, and he's spreading the love (of socialism) in Michigan. This time, he's stumping for Dr. Abdul El-Sayed, a Senate hopeful who thinks ICE is, like, totally uncool, and Donavan McKinney, who wants to give away free healthcare to everyone and abolish ICE too. Because, you know, borders are so last century.

Bernie, bless his heart, is still banging the 'Fighting Oligarchy' drum. What oligarchy, you ask? The one where you have to gasp work for a living and pay your own bills? The horror!

El-Sayed wants 'Medicare-for-all,' which translates to 'Medicare-for-none' when the whole system collapses under the weight of its own virtue signaling. And abolishing ICE? Genius! Let's just open the floodgates and hope for the best. What could possibly go wrong?

And then there's McKinney, running for Congress and echoing the same tired talking points. Medicare for all! Abolish ICE! It's like a progressive Mad Libs game.

Bernie, ever the optimist, thinks these guys are the future. He says, 'Over the last six, eight years, we have elected dozens of great members of Congress, strong progressives who are standing up and fighting for the working class. And I certainly hope that Donavan McKinney will join that group.' Translation: More virtue signaling, more government overreach, and more debt for your grandkids.

El-Sayed is up against some other Dems in the primary, so it'll be a real battle of the woke. But one thing's for sure: whoever wins, America loses.

Remember when Bernie endorsed El-Sayed for governor back in 2018 and he got clobbered? Good times. Maybe history will repeat itself. One can only hope.

So, next time you're filling out your ballot, remember this: a vote for El-Sayed or McKinney is a vote for the socialist apocalypse. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Stay frosty, chuds. The culture war ain't gonna fight itself.