Alright, folks, gather 'round the digital campfire. The Artemis II mission, supposed to be about, you know, space, decided to get all teary-eyed and sentimental. Seems our brave astronauts, while boldly going where a bunch of guys went 50 years ago, decided to propose naming a lunar crater 'Carroll' after the commander's late wife. Yes, Carroll, who tragically succumbed to the Big C back in 2020. RIP.

Now, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm just saying, isn't this a bit…much? Like, we're on the freaking MOON! Shouldn't we be naming craters after, I don't know, scientists? Or maybe badass generals? Or, dare I say, conservative heroes who aren't afraid to call out the woke mob? But no, we get 'Carroll.'

But hey, at least it wasn't 'Laverne' or 'Shaniqua'. Progress, I guess. Mission specialist Jeremy Hansen, bless his heart, got all choked up on the radio about their 'close-knit astronaut family' and how Carroll was a 'loved one.' Cue the violins. Even Commander Wiseman, a 27-year Navy vet (respect), got misty-eyed. Christina Koch, the token woman on the mission, even wiped away a tear. You can't make this stuff up.

Don't get me wrong, losing a spouse sucks. Cancer is a terrible thing. But turning the moon into your personal memorial garden? Seems a bit narcissistic, doesn't it? Maybe they should have named another crater 'Integrity' after their spaceship to balance out the estrogen.

Of course, the International Astronomical Union (the IAU – sounds like a villainous organization from a Bond movie) has to sign off on this whole thing. They're the arbiters of lunar nomenclature, the guardians of the cosmic lexicon. I'm sure they'll approve it. After all, who wants to be the bad guy who says no to a grieving astronaut?

So, there you have it. Artemis II, boldly going…to therapy. Naming craters after dead wives. Breaking Apollo records. And probably sipping soy lattes in zero gravity. What a time to be alive. One can't help but wonder what Buzz Aldrin would make of all this. Probably tell them to get their heads out of their asses and find some aliens.

And let's not forget that Wiseman was picked to command this mission in 2023, three years after Carroll's passing. So, yeah, definitely a narrative there. Good for him, but c'mon, the feels are strong with this one. Maybe they'll find a Starbucks up there next.