So, Tim Cook finally cashed out his rainbow-colored stock options and skipped town, leaving the keys to the iKingdom with John Ternus. Another company man, folks. Get ready for four more years of performative wokeness, virtue-signaling tech, and prices that make your wallet weep. This isn't leadership, it's corporate auto-pilot.

Ternus, who's been slurping at the Apple teat since 2001, apparently impressed the board with his ability to… keep the gravy train rolling. Fifteen years after Saint Steve left us, the cult of Apple has become a soulless corporation peddling overpriced trinkets to people who think a fruit logo makes them special.

Cook patted Ternus on the head and called him an “engineer with a soul.” Right. The only soul these guys have is the one they sold to the devil for record profits. And those profits? Built on the backs of exploited workers in China and gullible consumers here in America.

Ternus, in his carefully crafted PR statement, thanked his mentors, Steve Jobs and Tim Cook. Translation: “I promise to uphold the status quo and never, ever rock the boat.” Innovation? Don't hold your breath. We'll probably get thinner iPhones with even fewer ports and even higher price tags.

Under Ternus's watch, we got the Apple Watch and AirPods, which are basically just expensive status symbols for people who want to look busy while ignoring everyone around them. And then there's the Vision Pro headset, a total flop that proves even Apple can't sell snake oil to everyone.

This guy spearheaded the switch to Apple silicon, which, okay, was a smart move. But let's not pretend it was some act of genius. It was a cost-cutting measure disguised as innovation. Plus, it locks you even deeper into the Apple ecosystem, which is exactly what they want.

So, what can we expect from the Ternus era? More of the same. More woke capitalism. More overpriced gadgets. More sleek marketing campaigns designed to convince you that you can't possibly live without the latest iThing. It's the circle of life, Apple edition.

The only bright spot? Johny Srouji taking over Ternus's old job. Maybe, just maybe, he'll inject some actual engineering into this parade of marketing hype. But let's be real, the chances are slim. This is Apple, after all. And Apple is all about profits over progress.