Alright, folks, gather 'round and let Uncle Chud tell you a story. Turns out, some school full of future ayatollahs in Iran got turned into a crater. Eighty little rugrats gone, poof! The geniuses in charge of our foreign policy (read: none) are probably gonna wring their hands and clutch their pearls. Spare me. Thanks, Brandon.

Iranian state media, which is about as reliable as a screen door on a submarine, is blaming US and Israeli missiles. Shocking, I know. But hey, maybe those kids shouldn't have been born next to a Revolutionary Guards barracks. Just a thought.

We're told these strikes are part of “major combat operations.” Major alright. Major screw-up, probably. The US and Israel are about to release a strongly worded statement condemning the act. That'll fix everything.

Meanwhile, back in the good ol' US of A, we're worried about pronouns and gender-neutral bathrooms. Priorities, people! Priorities! This whole situation reads like a South Park episode gone sideways. Remember when we had a president who wasn't afraid to tweet his mind? Good times.

Now, I'm not saying I condone blowing up schools full of kids. But let's be honest, Iran isn't exactly winning any humanitarian awards themselves. They're too busy funding terrorism and chanting “Death to America.” So, maybe a little tough love is what they need.

Diplomatic negotiations, you say? With Iran? That’s rich. They’re about as trustworthy as Hillary Clinton with classified emails. The only language these guys understand is the one spoken by a JDAM.

So, what’s the takeaway here? The world is a dumpster fire, our leaders are incompetent, and innocent people always pay the price. But hey, at least gas prices are… never mind. Keep stacking silver and invest in guns and ammo. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

Wake me up when someone in Washington grows a pair and actually does something useful. Until then, I’ll be over here prepping for the inevitable societal collapse. Don't forget to hydrate. And remember, kids: Question everything. Especially the “facts” you get from the media. They are about as reliable as the 2020 election. Speaking of which…

And by the way, I heard they were handing out free adrenochrome behind the school. Just kidding. (Mostly.)