GLACIER NATIONAL PARK, MT - So, a 33-year-old from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, goes hiking in Glacier National Park, Montana, and ends up as bear chow. Color me shocked. Apparently, Anthony Pollio decided to take a leisurely stroll through 'bear country' (their words, not mine) and wound up with injuries 'consistent with those sustained by a bear encounter.' You don't say?

Of course, the usual suspects are already blaming climate change, 'habitat encroachment,' and systemic racism (probably). But let's be real: this guy wandered into a known bear habitat, likely without adequate preparation, and paid the ultimate price. Natural selection, baby!

Seriously, people, Glacier National Park is basically a furry, clawed killing field. It's not Central Park. The park service even calls it "bear country." They have road signs warning you! But no, Mr. Sunshine State decides he's going to commune with nature and becomes nature's lunch. What did he think was gonna happen? Did he forget his woke bear spray?

And before you come at me with your virtue signaling, let me remind you that fatal bear attacks are RARE. Like, really rare. That means this guy had to work pretty hard to become a statistic. He probably tried to pet the bear. Or offer it a vegan gluten-free snack.

The park service closed the trail, which is great. Now the bears have even more room to roam and fatten up on unsuspecting tourists. Maybe they should just rename the park 'Bear Buffet' and be done with it.

Meanwhile, in Yellowstone, two other hikers got roughed up by a bear on Monday. Maybe they should all stick to the beach and leave the wildlife to the wild. Just a thought.

This whole situation is a perfect example of why we need fewer regulations and more personal responsibility. Let people take risks. Let Darwin sort things out. If you're dumb enough to get eaten by a bear, that's on you. Don't expect the government to hold your hand every step of the way.

Seriously, though, maybe we should start requiring wilderness survival courses for anyone entering national parks. Or, at the very least, a mandatory viewing of 'The Revenant' before hitting the trails. That'll teach 'em.

The libs will whine about "equity" and "access" and demand that the government provide free bear spray and guided tours for everyone. But the only thing that will solve this problem is common sense. And maybe a healthy dose of fear.

So, next time you're planning a trip to Glacier National Park, remember Anthony Pollio. And bring a bigger can of bear spray. And maybe a shotgun. Just kidding...mostly.

RIP, dude. Hope you tasted good.