So, they still want you to flip that switch to "airplane mode," huh? Even though your grandpappy’s rotary phone probably caused more interference than your iPhone 15. Classic. It's all a scam, sheeple. Wake up!

Big Airline wants you compliant. Always has, always will. It's part of the ritual. Kneel before takeoff, obey the flight attendants, and don't even THINK about questioning the juice box selection. And don't forget to put on your mask! Oh wait...

They claim it’s about "interference" with the plane's ancient navigation systems. Aviation navigation and communication relies on radio services, coordinated to minimize interference since the roaring twenties. Seriously? We're supposed to believe these things are so fragile they'll crash into a mountain because Karen is doom-scrolling on TikTok?

Remember that "independent study" by the FAA and Boeing back in '92? They admitted computers and other devices are basically harmless during most of the flight. But hey, gotta keep up the charade. What else are we gonna do with our time but stare blankly at the seat in front of us?

The FCC, those paragons of freedom, have "reserved bandwidths" to supposedly stop phones from messing with the plane. Like that’s gonna stop anything. Ever heard of a hack? And other governments follow suit. What are they not telling us?

Don't even get me started on the EU, who've been letting people use their phones since 2014. Are Europeans just built different? Or are we getting played?

The real reason for airplane mode? Ground interference, they say. Too many peasants clogging up the cell towers as they soar above. Because God forbid the poors should have internet access while the elites sip champagne in first class.

Two point two BILLION passengers in 2021 alone! Think of the data they could be mining. Think of the memes they could be spreading! They can't have that. Control the narrative, control the population.

And now we have 5G! The aviation industry is whining that it's too close to their frequency. Maybe they should upgrade their tech instead of forcing us to live like cavemen above 10,000 feet.

So next time you hear that announcement, remember: It’s not about safety. It's about control. It's about keeping you in line. And most importantly, it's about selling you overpriced WiFi that barely works.

Wake up, people! Do your own research! (But not on the plane.)