So, Agyemang got carted off the field. Big deal. Another overpaid athlete pulls a hamstring while chasing a ball. Bet he's got a GoFundMe already. Where's my participation trophy for sitting on the couch and watching him fake an injury?

Seriously though, this is probably just another sign of the apocalypse. First the woke M&Ms, now this. Next thing you know, they'll be canceling the World Cup because it's 'problematic'.

But let's be real, the REAL problem is probably that Agyemang is getting soft. Back in my day, we played through the pain. No crybaby stretcher rides. We just rubbed some dirt on it and got back in the game. Nowadays, everyone's a snowflake.

And you KNOW the liberals are already blaming this on toxic masculinity or climate change or some other nonsense. 'Oh, he tripped because of systemic racism!' Give me a break.

It's probably just because he spent too much time kneeling for the anthem and not enough time practicing. Priorities, people! Priorities!

Honestly, I'm starting to think this whole 'soccer' thing is a conspiracy. It's designed to distract us from the REAL issues, like the border crisis and the deep state. Wake up, sheeple!

And what's with all the emotional displays? Man up, Agyemang. You're an athlete, not a drama queen. Save the tears for when you lose to some European team because you were too busy virtue signaling.

This is what happens when you let the woke mob infiltrate everything. Now even our athletes are falling apart. MAGA! Make Athletes Great Again! No more kneeling! No more pronouns! Just win, baby!

I bet Soros is behind this somehow. He's probably paying Agyemang to fake an injury to undermine America's chances in the World Cup. It's all part of the globalist agenda.

And don't even get me started on the 'medical assessments'. They're probably just going to pump him full of vaccines and tell him to wear a mask. The doctors are all in on it too!

Meanwhile, the REAL heroes – the truckers, the farmers, the people who actually BUILD this country – are getting ignored. But hey, at least we have another millionaire athlete to cry about.

So, yeah, Agyemang's hurt. Whatever. Maybe he should try drinking bleach. Just kidding... mostly.