WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP, N.J. – Ashley Fisler, 36, a former middle school teacher, is now facing some serious consequences for allegedly doing more than just 'teaching' her students. Turns out, 'social studies' had a whole different meaning in her classroom. This is why we can't have nice things.

Fisler got hit with six counts of first-degree sexual assault of a minor, plus a couple of second-degree charges just for kicks. Looks like someone forgot that 'Don't Do The Crime If You Can't Do The Time' isn't just a catchy rap lyric. Twenty years per count? Ouch. That's gonna sting more than a pronoun-filled HR training session.

The alleged victim, now an adult (thank goodness), finally spilled the tea to the cops, leading to Fisler's perp walk. Turns out, these extracurricular activities allegedly happened in her classroom and in her car. Talk about a field trip. Bet that's not on the approved curriculum.

Word on the street (well, Fox News) is that investigators found receipts – in the form of text messages. So much for plausible deniability. Maybe Fisler should have stuck to sending inspirational cat memes instead of... well, you know.

Fisler apparently worked for the Washington Township School District from 2014 until June 2023. Wonder if her LinkedIn profile mentions 'creating a safe and inclusive learning environment' or 'fostering student growth'? Asking for a friend.

So, what's the takeaway? Aside from the obvious 'don't bang your students,' maybe we should start questioning who we're putting in charge of our kids. Background checks are nice, but maybe a sanity check wouldn't hurt either. Are these teachers even qualified? Or are they just pushing some woke agenda while secretly texting teenagers?

The legal system will do its thing, blah blah blah. But let's be real, this is just another example of the absolute state of education today. We're too busy arguing about pronouns and CRT to notice that some teachers are allegedly turning into predators. Wake up, sheeple!

Someone needs to do a deep dive on these education programs, ASAP. What are they teaching these teachers? How are they screening them? And most importantly, how do we stop this from happening again? Because let's face it, this isn't an isolated incident. It's a symptom of a much larger problem.

This is exactly what happens when you let the loony left run the schools. They prioritize feelings over facts, inclusivity over competence, and apparently, grooming over grooming. Sad!

Anyway, time to pour one out for the victim, and maybe start homeschooling. At least you know what your kids are learning... and who they're texting.

At least she's not teaching anymore. Hopefully the next job she gets is picking up trash on the side of the highway.