So, Alia – gotta change her name, naturally, because the Taliban are totally reasonable dudes – hops in a cab to ditch her arranged marriage. Apparently, these enlightened thinkers in Afghanistan aren't too keen on girls getting educated. Who could have seen that coming?

It's been five years since the Taliban decided girls over 12 were just too darn smart to be allowed in school. All sorts of excuses, blah blah blah. Meanwhile, Alia's stuck choosing between arranged marriage and... well, pretty much nothing. Thanks, progress!

But hey, at least she took a cab! Resourceful, right? Probably more resourceful than our DEI-obsessed universities churning out gender studies majors who can't change a tire. She made up some BS story to her family – girlfriends, you know – and high-tailed it to Kabul. Enrolled in an English course. Because apparently, that's all you're allowed to do if you're a girl in Afghanistan these days.

Even Alia's parents, who were so enthusiastic about her becoming a pilot (lol), are now like, "Marriage is probably your best bet, sweetie." Talk about a vote of confidence.

This Shama chick is even worse off. Wanted to be a doctor. Now she's got two kids and a lifetime of regret. Thanks, Taliban! And thanks, globalists, for pretending this isn't happening while you virtue signal about pronouns.

And let's not forget that Alia's family is actually rich compared to most Afghans. Three out of four can't even afford basic necessities. So, you know, privilege. Just kidding. It still sucks to have your life dictated by religious fanatics.

But hey, at least we can all pat ourselves on the back for being so inclusive and tolerant. Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, girls are being forced into marriage and denied an education. Maybe we should focus a little less on microaggressions and a little more on, I don't know, actual oppression?

So, next time you hear some woke corporation blathering about "social justice," remember Alia and Shama. Remember the girls whose dreams are being crushed by a bunch of goat herders with AK-47s. And remember that real oppression exists, even if it doesn't fit neatly into your preferred victim narrative. Clown world continues.

So what can you do? Stop virtue signaling, start calling out actual evil. Support orgs that fight for women's rights overseas, not just in your echo chamber. And maybe, just maybe, start realizing that not every culture is equal. Some are just plain wrong. But that's a thought crime these days, isn't it?

And if you still don't get it... well, enjoy your Soylent and your pronouns. The rest of us will be over here trying to save the world, one forced marriage at a time. Or at least pointing out the absurdity of it all.