Woke Poet Laureate Writes Ode to the Zoo, Because Of Course He Did
ZSL hits peak virtue signal with commissioned poem about the moon, animals, and feelings.
So, the Zoological Society of London, or ZSL as the elites call it, is turning 200. Naturally, instead of, you know, actual conservation work, they decided to commission a poem. Because that’s what saves the planet, right? Deep thoughts and artistic expression. Written by none other than Poet Laureate Simon Armitage. Cue the eye roll.
Apparently, London Zoo has been inspiring artists for centuries. Landseer's lions, Winnie the Pooh (named after a Canadian bear, mind you), and Sylvia Plath all got the zoo bug. Even Ted Hughes, the dishwasher-turned-poet, found inspiration there. I guess doing dishes among the exotic smells is peak enlightenment. Now Armitage gets to join the ranks of these esteemed zoo-gazing artistes.
His poem, 'The Moon and The Zoo,' is a commissioned animation featuring a moon sliding in under the turnstile. Sounds about right. Probably has something to do with eco-guilt and our collective responsibility to…what? Hug a tree? Donate to the Sierra Club? Whatever the woke narrative is these days.
Armitage, fresh from his zoo visit where he probably learned more about animals than David Attenborough, claims he met a spider named Katie. Groundbreaking. He also watched Sumatran tigers. Bet he Instagrammed the hell out of that. And, of course, he went 'behind the scenes' in the reptile house. Bet that was a real 'existential experience.'
He babbles about the 'mysterious aspects' of animals' lives and their 'thoughts and dreams.' You know, the usual artist drivel. Pretty sure those tigers are just thinking about their next meal, not the existential dread of climate change. But whatever sells the woke narrative, right?
The moon, according to Armitage, is a 'metaphor' for ZSL's work and 'keeping and caring.' Newsflash: the moon is a giant rock in space. It doesn't care about your feelings, your zoo, or your virtue signaling. But hey, gotta justify that Poet Laureate gig somehow.
He wants the poem to share ZSL’s message about the 'wonder of the natural world' and how it enriches our thinking. I’m sure the average bloke struggling to pay his bills cares deeply about the enriching power of nature. Maybe he should try telling that to someone who can’t afford a zoo ticket.
The best part? He wants the poem to be 'fun and playful.' Because nothing says 'environmental crisis' like lighthearted whimsy. Bet Greta Thunberg is just thrilled.
