GORTON AND DENTON, UK – So, a plumber, Hannah Spencer, sporting the Green Party colors, just pulled off a shock win in Gorton and Denton. Apparently, promising rainbows and unicorns—paid for by those evil 'billionaires'—still works on the normies. This victory is proof that appealing to envy and resentment can still get you a seat in Parliament.

Spencer, now officially a Member of Parliament, gave a speech chock-full of the usual leftist talking points about the working class being exploited. "Instead of working for a nice life, we’re working to line the pockets of billionaires. We are being bled dry," she whined. Newsflash: that's how capitalism works. People get rich by providing goods and services others want! She probably thinks the free market is when you liberate items from the supermarket.

She also virtue-signaled about how working hard doesn't get you anything anymore. Maybe try learning a valuable skill instead of complaining on TikTok? Oh wait, she is a plumber, so good for her for actually working. But now she's gone over to the dark side. A dark side that's green for some reason.

Look, nobody is saying people don't have it tough. But blaming 'billionaires'—who, let's be honest, are probably just job creators—isn't the answer. The solution is less government meddling, lower taxes, and letting people keep more of what they earn. But hey, that's just common sense, which is apparently a rare commodity these days.

She griped about "litter, the fly-tipping, the dirty air." Someone get this woman a broom and a garbage bag! Or, I don't know, pass laws that actually punish people who litter instead of virtue signaling that we should be nice to the planet! And don't even get me started on the 'clean air' thing. Is she going to ban cars or something?

And of course, she had to shoehorn in some woke nonsense about an attempted attack on a mosque. "My Muslim friends and neighbours are just like me, human." Groundbreaking. As if anyone thought Muslims were lizard people. This is the kind of pandering that makes normal people roll their eyes so hard they see their brains. They also get it right with the Muslim community. Usually, it's some virtue signaling about the trans community. Can't wait for her to bring some drag queens to Parliament.

This victory isn't just a win for the Green Party; it's a win for the grievance industry. The professionals who make a career complaining about everything from capitalism to climate change. Get ready for four more years of lectures on social justice from someone who probably never had to worry about making a payroll.

So, congrats to Hannah Spencer, the woke plumber turned MP. Let's hope she doesn't clog up Parliament with too much socialist pipe dream. And maybe, just maybe, she'll actually fix a leaky faucet or two while she's there. But don't hold your breath. She's too busy saving the world, one virtue signal at a time.