So, New York's at it again. Apparently, the current rape laws are just too restrictive because, you know, personal responsibility is, like, totally a microaggression. Now, if someone chooses to get hammered or stoned, and then something regrettable happens, the woke crowd wants to redefine “physically helpless” to include “regretting my life choices.”

The logic, as always, is impeccable (read: nonexistent). If a woman willingly chugs a fifth of vodka and then stumbles into a questionable situation, it's obviously the patriarchy's fault. Never mind the concept of free will or the consequences of one's actions. This is about feelings, not facts, and feelings are always right. Especially if those feelings can be weaponized to destroy someone's life based on a he-said-she-said scenario fueled by booze.

The legal standard, as it currently stands, requires prosecutors to prove the victim was actually incapacitated. You know, unconscious, unable to communicate. But that's just too hard. It requires, like, evidence. Apparently, the woke DA's of New York are already having enough trouble prosecuting actual crime, never mind thoughtcrime, now they want to lower the bar even further so they can go after anyone they want to.

Of course, this is all about “empowering women.” Because nothing empowers women more than treating them like children who can't be held responsible for their own decisions. Apparently, the only way to achieve true gender equality is to create a system where men are perpetually terrified of being falsely accused and women are absolved of all accountability. Sounds like a real utopia.

The real kicker is the implicit assumption that women are just incapable of making rational decisions after a few drinks. Which is, ironically, pretty sexist. But hey, consistency was never the Left's strong suit. As long as they can virtue signal and score political points, they're happy to throw logic and reason out the window.

So, what's the solution? Common sense. If you choose to get drunk, you accept the risks that come with it. That doesn't excuse sexual assault, but it does mean you can't automatically claim victimhood when things go south. And it certainly doesn't justify rewriting the law to cater to the perpetually aggrieved.

But hey, it's New York. Expect more woke nonsense in the future. Because in the land of AOC and de Blasio, reality is whatever the most offended person says it is. Buckle up, folks. It's going to be a bumpy ride. Now, where's the beer? (Responsibly, of course. Unless I decide to sue someone later.)

Next thing you know, they'll be wanting to redefine 'murder' to include 'accidental papercut during a heated political debate'. Where does the madness end?

It's all performative wokeness, designed to appeal to the Twitterati and signal virtue to the easily impressed. Meanwhile, actual crime continues to skyrocket and the city crumbles under the weight of its own progressive policies.

Don't be fooled by the social justice buzzwords. This isn't about protecting victims; it's about expanding government power and controlling the narrative. It's about creating a society where everyone is afraid to speak their mind and where dissent is punished with swift and merciless condemnation.

Remember, kids: freedom isn't free. It requires vigilance, critical thinking, and a healthy dose of skepticism. And a well-stocked arsenal of memes. God Emperor Trump 2024!

Sources:

* Cato Institute: Criminal Justice * Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE): Campus Free Speech