COLUMBIA, S.C. — So the No. 1 seed South Carolina Gamecocks, fresh off their diversity and inclusion training, curb-stomped No. 16 seed Southern University 103-34 in the first round of the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament. Color me shocked. Apparently, all that kneeling during the anthem really helps your jump shot.

Joyce Edwards, probably woke, dropped 27 points and eight boards. Ta’Niya Latson, Madina Okot, and Tessa Johnson also contributed because, let's be real, when you're playing a team from the SWAC, everyone looks like Michael Jordan. South Carolina opened with a 15-0 run, because that's what happens when the talent gap is wider than the Rio Grande.

Southern, the plucky underdogs from the Southwestern Athletic Conference, tried their best. Jocelyn Tate even managed 10 points. Bless her heart. But let's not pretend this was a fair fight. It was like watching a toddler box Mike Tyson.

The lefty media will spin this as a tale of systemic injustice and lack of resources for HBCUs. Sure, maybe a little bit of that is true. But the main reason South Carolina won is because they're a better team. And sometimes, that's just how it goes. Cope.

Remember when Southern beat Samford in the First Four? Good for them. Participation trophies for everyone! But let's not pretend a First Four win is anything more than a consolation prize. They're still getting smoked by real teams in the actual tournament.

South Carolina lost to Texas in the SEC Tournament title game. But they learned a valuable lesson: don't lose. So they took out their frustration on Southern. And who can blame them?

Now, the Gamecocks get to play either Clemson or Southern California. Honestly, who cares? They're going to win anyway. Because that's what happens when you're a top seed in a woke, virtue-signaling league.

So let's recap: South Carolina won. Southern lost. Parity is a myth. The WNBA still sucks. And wokeness is ruining everything. But hey, at least the Gamecocks are diverse.

Maybe instead of whining about inequality, Southern should try, I dunno, practicing? Just a thought. Probably a racist thought, according to the libs. But a thought nonetheless.

In the meantime, I'll be over here enjoying the schadenfreude and waiting for the inevitable ESPN thinkpiece on how this game proves America is systemically racist. Because that's what they do. The entire tournament is filled with these upsets waiting to happen. But only one can win, right?