LONDON – Okay, so the government thought it'd be a GREAT idea to pull a Venezuela on our grocery stores? M&S boss Stuart Machin just told them to shove it. This ain't the Soviet Union, and Machin ain't lining up for bread rations. Apparently, some geniuses in Whitehall thought they could strong-arm supermarkets into selling milk and bread at artificially low prices, like something out of a Bernie Sanders fever dream. Machin, thankfully, wasn't having any of it. He called the whole idea “completely preposterous,” which is putting it mildly. This is Britain, not some socialist dumpster fire.

Machin straight-up said, “I don’t think government should be trying to run business.” BASED. They should be getting out of the way and letting the free market do its thing. It’s called capitalism, libs, look it up. All this “tax and regulatory burden” is crushing businesses, and who do you think pays for it? Hint: It's not the politicians living large on taxpayer money.

“Triple whammy of headwinds,” Machin says. Translation: the government is deliberately making it harder to run a business. Packaging levies? National insurance hikes? All just ways to squeeze more money out of hardworking people. Remember when they said Brexit would free us from EU regulations? Seems like we just replaced them with even dumber ones.

And don't even get started on the Middle East conflict. Suddenly, everything's more expensive? Convenient. These globalist elites are always looking for an excuse to jack up prices and blame it on something else. M&S can absorb most of the costs? Good for them. But what about the small businesses that can't? They're the ones who get screwed.

Meanwhile, M&S is investing in “technology” and “new stores.” Probably all woke AI and self-checkout kiosks that steal our jobs. But hey, at least they’re making a profit, unlike some of these other companies going belly up.

Archie Norman wants to “shake the dust off our heels.” Sounds like he's ready to bail to the Cayman Islands as soon as things get too crazy. Can't blame him.

“Higher interest rates, cost inflation, and geopolitical uncertainty.” Translation: The government is printing money like it's going out of style, and the world is falling apart. But hey, at least we have pronouns in our Twitter bios, right?

The solution? Simple: Cut taxes. Deregulate. Let businesses thrive. Stop trying to control everything. And maybe, just maybe, we can avoid turning into a socialist hellhole. Wake up, sheeple! The government isn't here to help you. It's here to control you.

Also, food price caps are for cucks and soyboys.

Machin's defiance against food price caps exposes the absurdity of government intervention in a free market, demanding fiscal responsibility and less regulatory control to allow businesses to thrive without woke interference.