Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions. Remember Everlane, the company that lectured everyone about ethical fashion while probably exploiting Bangladeshi sweatshops just the same? Turns out, virtue signaling doesn't pay the bills. Now they're getting eaten alive by the big, bad, Chinese fast-fashion machine, Shein. Pass the popcorn.

This whole thing is peak irony. Everlane, founded in 2011 by some coastal elite hipsters (Michael Preysman and Jesse Farmer – names that just scream “I holiday in Martha's Vineyard”), built their brand on being “eco-friendly” and “sustainable.” They even bragged about auditing their supply chains, as if that makes a difference when you're still churning out mountains of cheap crap. But somewhere along the line, reality hit. Turns out, people like cheap clothes, and being “ethically sourced” costs money. Who knew?

Enter Shein, the undisputed king of fast fashion. They're basically the online version of that discount store that always smells faintly of plastic, but amplified to a global scale. They don't care about your feelings, or the planet, or your pronouns. They care about one thing: making money. And boy, do they make a lot of it.

The funniest part is Everlane's CEO, Alfred Chang, desperately trying to spin this as a good thing. “This partnership allows us to remain independent,” he bleats in a letter to employees. Independent? Buddy, you're about to be a subsidiary of a company that makes more clothes in a day than you make in a year. Get real.

Neil Saunders, some “managing director” at “GlobalData Retail,” tries to sound smart by saying that Shein probably won't “completely retool Everlane’s supply network.” Translation: Shein will squeeze every last drop of profit out of Everlane before dumping what's left into a landfill, both figuratively and literally. And honestly, who can blame them?

The free market giveth, and the free market taketh away. Everlane tried to play the woke game, and they lost. Maybe now they’ll learn that preaching to the choir doesn't pay the rent. Maybe they’ll learn that people don’t actually care about where their clothes come from as long as they look good and are cheap. (Spoiler alert: they won't).

So raise a glass to Everlane, the latest victim of the culture wars. They talked the talk, but they couldn't walk the walk. And now they're getting devoured by the very thing they pretended to hate. Serves them right. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go order a new t-shirt from Shein. It's only $5, and who cares if it was made by child labor? Just kidding… mostly.