You truly cannot make this up. The WNBA officiating crew reached peak clown-show status on Wednesday night, completely missing a literal closed-fist throat strike on Caitlin Clark. The league office was forced to do damage control on Thursday, retroactively handing Phoenix Mercury forward Alyssa Thomas a Flagrant Foul 2 and a suspension. Apparently, when you cannot stop a generational talent with actual basketball skills, the next best option is to resort to cheap shots and hope the blind refs are looking the other way.

The absolute chaos unfolded in the second quarter of Phoenix’s 111-109 road win. Clark was driving the lane, got bumped, and fell to her side. That is when Thomas and DeWanna Bonner dove for the ball. In the ensuing scramble, Thomas managed to knee Clark in the groin and land a closed fist directly to her throat. Adding insult to injury, Thomas then did the classic WWE step-over as she got up. Clark, being a professional, still managed to complete a pass to Aliyah Boston while lying on the hardwood.

Somehow, the refs on the floor decided this was totally normal basketball and called absolutely nothing. This complete lack of basic officiating competence sent Indiana Fever coach Stephanie White into absolute orbit during her postgame press conference. White did not hold back, blasting the refs for letting the league's premier superstar get targeted without any consequences.

"We have a generational talent and a WNBA superstar who had two cheap shots right there that weren’t called," White told reporters. "And I just say, again, [it’s] absolutely unacceptable."

Less than sixty seconds after that disaster class in refereeing, the Mercury's Valeriane Ayayi fouled Clark on a three-point attempt, completely invading her landing space. Clark landed directly on Ayayi’s foot—a notorious ankle-destroyer of a play. White demanded a flagrant upgrade, but after checking the monitors, the refs decided to double down on their own incompetence and keep it a common foul.

"No 1, you gotta call it. It’s absolutely egregious and utterly disrespectful," a furious White said. "And then No 2, you’re coming in here aware of what happened two nights ago, and that shit still happens? Absolutely unacceptable."

White was referencing the absolute circus that took place on Monday night. That game, which the Fever won 86-77, featured a whopping six technical fouls—including technicals handed out to both Clark and Thomas—plus an ejection. You would think the officiating crew would enter Wednesday's game ready to control the court, but instead, they let the physical targeting escalate to the point of a retroactive suspension.