Windsor, England – So, Prince Andrew, right? Turns out, some blue-haired broads in Windsor are clutching their pearls because he allegedly didn't behave like a saint. One lady whined that Queen Liz's kids “let her down.” Newsflash, Gertrude: the whole damn system is letting us down. While you're busy being scandalized by royal shenanigans, the rest of us are wondering how we're going to pay for groceries. The apathy of others in Windsor? Based. They get it.

Let's be real, the royals are basically a Netflix show funded by the taxpayers. Are we really surprised that one of them is a screw-up? It's practically baked into the job description at this point. The idea that these people are somehow paragons of virtue is a boomer-tier fantasy. They're born into obscene wealth and privilege, surrounded by yes-men. What did you expect?

And before you get all high and mighty about “duty” and “tradition,” remember where that wealth comes from. Hint: it involves centuries of colonialism, exploitation, and general unpleasantness. Maybe instead of worrying about Prince Andrew's dating habits, we should be asking some harder questions about the monarchy's role in perpetuating global inequality. Just a thought.

The fact that this is even a news story is a testament to the media's obsession with shiny objects. They'd rather distract you with royal drama than talk about the real problems facing the country. Inflation, crime, woke indoctrination in schools—these are the things that actually matter. But hey, at least we have something to meme about, right?

Frankly, the whole situation is a perfect metaphor for the state of the world. A bunch of out-of-touch elites squabbling over nonsense while the planet burns. If you're looking for leadership or moral guidance from these people, you're going to be sorely disappointed. The only thing they're good at is lining their own pockets. So keep calm, carry on, and try not to think about it too much. Your blood pressure will thank you.

At the end of the day, who cares? Really. The reactions of Windsor residents are about as relevant as the monarchy itself. Focus on what you can control, and let the royals continue their slow-motion train wreck. Just make sure you have popcorn.